AYRSHIRE crooner and frequent topic in the Diary, it has to be said, Sydney Devine returns next month for two nights in Glasgow's Pavilion Theatre.

A Cumbernauld reader was buying two tickets for her parents' anniversary at the box office and asked if she needed any documentation that they qualified for the senior citizens' discount. "No, you're alright," said the box office assistant: "We rarely get people pretending to be pensioners to get into a Sydney Devine concert."

Winding road with a twist

TALKING of singers, award-winning country artist Sheryl Crow gave a great performance in Glasgow Royal Concert Hall this week. But as Glasgow stand-up Frankie Boyle put it: "Really enjoying the Sheryl Crow concert in Glasgow tonight. My girlfriend went to it, and now I'm watching martial arts film The Raid 2 on DVD."

Gladiator revolt

FAMOUS film quotes altered to sum up the body-swerving goings on over standing for the Labour party leadership in Scotland. "I'm not Spartacus. He's Spartacus."

We're still checking the rumour that the Grand Central Hotel in Glasgow, where Scottish Labour is holding its gala dinner tomorrow night, has specially ordered plastic cutlery for the occasion.

Vote for that

SOMEONE else not enthused about politicians is reader Niall Macdonald who tells us: "Recently I received an e-mail from my local MP which my computer's e-mail programme flagged up as 'this message may be a scam'. I didn't realise that artificial intelligence was that advanced."

Stretching the truth

A LANARKSHIRE reader swears to us that a regular in his pub has named his dog Five Miles so that he can tell everyone he walks five miles every day.

Pain-free technology

OLDER folk and technology continued. A younger reader tells us her mum was phoning on her mobile phone when she dropped it. Her mum picked up the phone and said to her daughter: "Are you alright?"

Peel unplugged

THE death of Glasgow-born guitarist Jack Bruce reminds a reader of Jack Bruce slipping Radio 1 DJ John Peel two little pink pills when he came to hear the Cream bass guitarist play.

Peel threw them away and years later told Jack when he met him again that he was not a big enthusiast of drug taking. "Drugs?" says Bruce. "They were earplugs."

Fame at last

GOOD to see former Celtic and Scotland striker Charlie Nicholas inducted into Scottish football's Hall of Fame. It reminds us of the story reader Ian Mouat once told us.

"As a pharmacist working in the east end of Glasgow I had a contract with Celtic Football Club, and got to know a few of the players," said Ian. "One day I took a member of staff to help me with the delivery, and pointed out Charlie Nicholas and explained how he was approaching the car to probably say hello. My assistant was dutifully impressed, until Charlie arrived and said, 'Is that my taxi?'"

On the button

PROBLEMS your children have that you didn't. A Glasgow mother sending her daughter off to school suggested she wear gloves yesterday morning to keep her hands dry. "Don't be stupid mum," her young one replied. "How am I supposed to use my phone?"