MAX Bygraves, who has sadly died, was well loved by Glasgow audiences – even those at the Glasgow Empire who were known for being tough on English acts.
But as one Glaswegian, now living in Essex, recounted: "My gran was absolutely madly in love with Max Bygraves – so much so that when she went to see him at the Empire she managed to 'acquire' the full-size cardboard cut-out of him which had adorned the foyer of the theatre.
"She simply lifted it and took the train home with Max Bygraves under her arm. It then spent years having pride of place in her house."
DOGS' names continued. A reader tells us: "I called my dog Bingo, which was fine until he ran into the Mecca hall up the road, and I ran in shouting his name. What chaos that caused among a lot of unhappy women."
SCOTRAIL recently introduced a booze ban on trains after 9pm. Alison Kerr was on the 11pm Edinburgh-to-Glasgow train the other night when the guard, or whatever they are called these days, announced: "If anyone has alcohol on board, it must not be visible."
A returning Glaswegian with his pals thought about this for a moment before shouting out: "Right. Can we have four invisible whiskies please?"
Safari, so good
THE daft news story about the supposed lion spotted in Essex brings forth from reader Gerry MacKenzie the hoary old gag: "It reminded me of the two lions strolling down Sauchiehall Street. One remarked to the other, 'Jings, it's quiet for a Saturday afternoon!'"
Boxing not-so clever
A READER who was moving house couldn't get over the number of boxes of books he had to pack for the removal men – particularly as he was being charged per box.
His mood wasn't helped by the foreman of the removal men who looked at the boxes and remarked: "Aye, I bet you wish the Kindle was invented a good few years earlier."
Do any readers have their favourite removal stories?
Blowing for gold
JOHN Taylor in Kirkintilloch reads the news pages in The Herald and tells us: "I see the MEP Struan Stevenson is accusing the Moray Firth wind farm developers of the 'usual spin'.
"If we could have more spin associated with wind turbines I think I could become a fan."
A time for reflection
NICKNAMES – Martin Shields in Australia recalls: "I had a manager who was nicknamed The Mirror because any time you asked him about a decision or a problem, he said, 'I'll look into it.'"
NEWS from America where President Barack Obama is preparing his re-election campaign. A reader in New York tells us: "I'll feel sorry for Obama if he gets elected in November. Look at the economic mess he's going to inherit."
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