ALREADY performers are getting their acts together for the Edinburgh Festival Fringe in August.
Michael Redmond, whose show Mannequins, Fishmongers, Guacamole and Me is at the Gilded Balloon, was filming in a Glasgow west end restaurant with a female mannequin for part of his act about sharing a flat with said model.
Says Michael: "I was acutely aware of the inquisitive stares of the other customers, and I overheard an elderly woman say to her friend, 'She looks a bit young for him.'
"Her friend looked embarrassed and said, 'She's just a mannequin. I think it's a bit of a joke', to which the elderly woman replied, 'Yes, but even still.'"
GLASGOW'S Red Road flats, once the tallest flats in Europe, are scheduled for demolition next month. Writer Alison Irvine, who based her novel This Road is Red on interviews about the flats by departing residents, was told by one: "Once there was a power cut. No lights and no lift. I walked up 27 storeys.
"But I was up the wrong flat. I had to walk down again and up the other one."
AN EDINBURGH reader tells us he took his mum out for Sunday lunch where she looked across at another table before telling him: "Isn't it lovely to see people praying before their food arrives?"
He didn't have the heart to tell her that the couple were both looking down at their smart phones while texting.
Stock in trade
"DID you hear Mark Zuckerberg's advice on how to become a millionaire?" asks our man in the city.
And he answers himself: "Buy a billion pounds worth of Facebook shares."
Man of the people
SCOTTISH Tories were smiling at the choice of cinema First Minister Alex Salmond used for the launch of the Yes campaign for independence in Edinburgh yesterday. It was prominently advertising 13 showings of The Dictator that day.
AS barbecue smoke enveloped Glasgow's suburbs yesterday, a Newton Mearns reader tells us of a sticker he saw on a car in Texas. "A backyard barbecue draws two things – flies and relatives."
Not so rock'n'roll
BLUE Nile lead singer Paul Buchanan walked into the Fopp record store in Glasgow this week and politely asked the staff if they were stocking his new solo album.
"I wonder if Bruce Springsteen does that?" remarked a music buyer in the store at the time.
"I DID double my morning exercise this morning," announced a woman meeting a friend for coffee in Byres Road yesterday.
"I must stop forgetting things upstairs," she added.
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