JURY duty continued.

Says Brian Logan in Glasgow: "After a four-day trial, we had found the defendant guilty by a unanimous decision. As we met for the last time and said goodbye to one another, I always remember one juror saying, 'Cheerio then, I'm just away to fiddle my expenses'."

Pun lessons

SCHOOL spelling errors, and Nita Marr in Longniddry, East Lothian, recalls her daughter going to a fancy dress party, in an outfit made out of dozens of ties, as "Miss Tieland". However, when she wrote about it at school the following week, the teacher corrected it to "Miss Thailand".

"So your teacher didn't see the punny side of it," Nita told her daughter.

Taught a lesson

TALKING of schools, Glasgow City Council's education department has emailed supply teachers about the various temporary posts that are available in the city's primary schools. The communication states at the top: "This email has went to all supply teachers that are registered with Glasgow City Council."

So perhaps the city's need for teachers is more acute than we realised.

Handy punishment

WE asked about school punishments other than the belt, and David Will in Milngavie told us: "Back in the 50s I attended Riddrie Primary where one of my teachers, an elderly lady with hair in a bun, would bend a child's fingers back till he or she screamed in pain as a method of getting pupils to focus their minds and behave. Surprisingly it used to take a number of applications for us to see the error of our ways."

Mood music

MORE preferable is the punishment of business studies teacher Christine O'Hare in Bishopton, who says: "I used to download music and let the pupils listen as they keyed in exercises. It meant they didn't try and chat to each other as they worked. However, the most effective threat was that if they started distracting each other, I would put on Daniel O'Donnell. For some reason I never had to do this - the warning was enough."

Racing away

OUR tales of meeting celebrities remind Edinburgh councillor Stefan Tymkewycz of his days as a young police officer in the Met and giving a warning about the manner of his driving to a chap they pulled over in Belgravia. Says Stefan: "I know he wasn't paying much heed to my advice and I could hear my colleague sniggering behind me. As he drives off my partner tells me to look at his number plate which I'll never forget - SM7. Yes it was Stirling Moss."

Home from home

AS you may know, there are many spoof Twitter accounts out there. So we suspect that the Iain Duncan Smith MP who Tweeted this yesterday was not the real Tory Cabinet minister. It said: "Cobra Meeting to discuss floods. Have suggested people move to their second homes while main ones dry out."

Weather beaten

MSPs voted in favour of same-sex marriages. As Mitch Benn commented: "I'd just like to point out to UKIP supporters that the Scottish weather has always been like this."

Bird-brained

THE suggestion that the national bird of Scotland should be the dodo if we vote No in the independence referendum was challenged by a Paisley reader who says: "Surely the national bird would be an ostrich if Scotland voted Yes."