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Not a verse

There being no acknowledged modern master of the haiku, we've decided to bestow that honour on punk poet John Cooper Clarke, whose fondness for this simple poetic form is legendary.

Or quite well known around his home town of Manchester, at least. Either way, here's one of his best:

To convey one's mood

In seventeen syllables

Is very diffic".

See what he did there?

On then to today's haiku postbag. First up is Jim McDonald's take on a town Paolo Nutini knows well. Not that he'll be setting this ditty to music any time soon: