UNUSUAL Scottish dining continued.
Says David Campbell: "I was working with a colleague in Arbroath and we decided to go to a small Italian restaurant. We were approached by a young waitress with a blossoming career in catering.
"She was very keen to help us decide and whispered out of the corner of her mouth: "Don't have the lasagne, it's gopping."
Gopping being Army slang for terrible, passed on presumably by 45 Commando Royal Marines which is based in the town.
AS we deliberate what lasting effect the Chris Huhne and Vicky Pryce court case will have on British politics and our understanding of crime and punishment, a reader brings us back down to earth by telling us: "I hear MH Prison Holloway women's football team has a new proven penalty taker."
"WHERE do you begin?" wonders a reader as he hears an upset teenager in a Glasgow clothing store tell her mum: "It's not fair, I bet gran never took your iPhone away from you when you went to bed."
Chip off the old block
THE Cheltenham Festival began yesterday making it one of the most exciting race days of the year.
Our man at the racecourse was well impressed by the punters' newspaper, the Racing Post, sponsoring the chippy near Cheltenham's railway station.
They only did it so that the staff could wear T-shirts with the terrible pun "Batter the bookies" in bold letters across the back.
Path to success
AS our jogging stories come to a wheezing end, Barrie Crawford tells us of a pal who went out running in all weathers, and one evening in dense fog ran into the corner of a building, knocking out some teeth.
On his 40th birthday his running club presented him with a trophy of a brick with dentures embedded in it and the Latin quotation: Aut viam inveniam aut faciam (I will either find a way or make one).
WHILE rugby fans recover from Scotland's defeat by Wales, Liam Chalmers in Dumfries points out: "We were talking in the pub after suffering through the Scottish team's abysmal display against Wales.
"It seems we were always going to be up against it. Our stand-off was Weir – but theirs was Biggar."
POST Crufts, we asked for your dog stories, and naturally Andy Cameron told us: "I once had a rottweiler and a dachshund, and one day after a heavy fall of snow I took them for a walk and discovered they could speak.
"As we trudged through the snow the rottweiler complained, 'Ma paws are freezing'.
"The wee dachshund gave him a look of disdain and said, 'Your paws are freezing?'"
No, it's not old, it's a classic.
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