A FORTHCOMING BBC film about Scotland's famous safecracker Gentle Johnny Ramensky, reminds retired reporter Gordon Airs of interviewing another safeblower, Paddy Meehan, who told him that he did a bank job with Johnny towards the end of his criminal career.
Searching about in the dark for the safe, Johnny whispered that he had found it. Recalled Paddy: “I padded up and saw it was a fridge. I opened the door and the light came on. He said his eyes weren’t what they used to be, and I said, ‘you’re no’ kidding’.
“When we found the safe I let him put on the plastic explosive. He was always so finicky – he just wanted the door to swing open perfectly. I packed in a lot more and he complained that it would blow the door off. I said: ‘Listen, it’s no oor safe’.”
WE mentioned the senior citizen in Asda trying to look up potatoes on the self scanner under T “for tatties.” A Hyndland reader reckons many old guys in supermarkets just like a laugh to keep themselves going. He saw one chap with his wife buying a large bag of ice cubes, presumably for a party, and the old fella turned to the bemused check-out girl and asked: “Now are these fresh? I don’t like buying the frozen rubbish.”
FORMER MP Jim Devine’s 16 month jail sentence for expenses fiddling didn’t bring out the milk of human kindness in everyone. One reader phoned to tell us: “So he gets to eat and sleep at our expense once again?”
MATT Vallance, visiting the new St Mirren park, noticed that the nearby Buddies Snack Bar offered a full breakfast for £3, but you could get a larger “Mark Yardley Breakfast” for £3.70 with almost double the contents.
Mark of course was a St Mirren legend in the late eighties who scored over 70 goals for the club, but was, it has to be said, a bit on the bulky side towards the end of his career.
Says Matt: “Only in Scotland is fame so fleeting. All those goals for St Mirren and how is big Yards remembered – as a fatty.”
WE asked for your holiday stories, and Michael Kavanagh tells us: “I was on holiday in the Dominican Republic when a beach trader came up to me and asked where I was from. When I said Scotland he thought for a second, then you could see the light come on in his brain and he said, ‘Ah! You want to buy marijuana’!”
AS speculation fever swept the ranks of Rangers fans about a possible takeover, one Glasgow businessman emailed a fans’ website from the first class section of a New York to Glasgow jet, stating that Rangers chairman Alastair Johnston was sitting in front of him.
Also on board, he said, was Rangers’ American midfielder Maurice Edu.
Fans back in Glasgow asked what they were doing, and the businessman replied that while Johnston was reading The Herald’s sports section, Edu was asleep.
Perhaps unkindly, one fan replied: “Has Edu ever been awake for the last five months?”
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