YOUNG Scottish comedian Daniel Sloss is appearing at Glasgow's Garage nightclub later this month.

A reader tells us of a previous gig by Daniel in Glasgow when he told of the fun he and his younger brother had when they want on holiday with their parents.

Daniel said: "As soon as our dad started taking his belt off to go through the security scanner at the airport we would look alarmed and shout out: "No dad! I'm sorry!"

Blame it on DNA

A SOUTH Side reader was in his local supermarket when he heard a young mother shout out at her young son running up and down the aisles: "Alex! Come back here! All you do is run away." She then added: "Just like yer faither."

Framing the mood

THE 800,000 ceramic poppies at the Tower of London were truly a memorable sight. Chris Madigan tells us of a chap taking a picture of his wife with the poppies in the background who was trying to get the right picture. "Smile," he told her. Then added: "No, not that much." And eventually told her: "Smile sombrely."

Game of thrones

THE charity WaterAid is raising awareness about a third of the world not having access to proper toilet facilities by having comedians reciting their favourite toilet joke on their website so you can vote for your favourite. We like Milton Jones who manages to drag newspapers into the story as well. Said Milton: "I'm setting up a newspaper about toilets, but can't think of a name for it. They're all bog standard."

Pay tax? I'll sleep on it

A CHAP in a Glasgow pub the other night, who runs his own business, was talking about his annual tax return to HMRC. He told his pals: "I knew I had given them the wrong figures, and I couldn't sleep worrying about it. Eventually I sent them a cheque for a further £200, and said if I still couldn't sleep I'd send the rest."

Straight to the point

THE Commonwealth Fencing Championships are taking place this week at the Inverclyde National Centre in Largs, where paramedics on duty had to rush through to the gym in the centre where a local pensioner had suffered a heart attack. Fortunately the paramedics, who had expected to deal with only a few cuts or twisted ankles, had a defibrillator with them, and helped save the chap before an ambulance arrived.

Fortunately he was OK, so we can forgive one of the organisers who told us: "We expected heart-stopping action at the fencing - but not like that."

Wait for it

A READER swears he heard a couple in a pub have the following conversation.

"On a scale of 1-10 how…"

"10!"

"…Impatient are you?"

Lesson in service

A BEARSDEN reader tells us she was struggling to have a problem about her electricity bill sorted when she phoned the company, so she asked the person who was not very helpful if she could speak to his supervisor.

"He's not available," he replied. "He's at a CRM meeting."

When she asked what CRM was, he told her: "Customer relations management - how to deal with complaints."

She just shook her head and hung up.