Old ones are the best

Diary Editor

Thursday 27 September 2012

A GLASGOW westender asked a pal how she got on seeing Andrew Lloyd Webber's Jesus Christ Superstar at the SECC this week.

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Ken Smith

We assume the young lady had a sense of humour as she replied: "It was good. I didn't know the musical, so it was hard to follow the story, but apparently it's based on a true story."

A true starVELVET-VOICED singer Andy Williams has died at the age of 84. Best known for the ballad Moon River, Williams was still performing, and was at Glasgow's Clyde Auditorium seven years ago. A reader at that night tells us: "What a smooth operator. At one point he told the audience, 'My three favourite places to play are the Coliseum in Rome, the Acropolis in Greece and this intimate little dive'."Story of survivalCHILDREN 1ST, the charity formerly known as the RSSPCC, is highlighting its Kinship Care service, in the run-up to Grandparents Day a week on Sunday, by asking for stories about grandparents. One charity supporter told them: "When he was four, my son had been watching a documentary about the First World War on TV with his grandparents. After it, he turned to his granddad and said, 'Did you ever get killed in the war?'"Rib-tickling taleKINSHIP Care is helping family members, often grandparents, who bring up children. One couple told Children 1st: "When our granddaughter first came to stay with us she told social workers we had given her bones for her tea. It was actually spare ribs!"Any other grandparent stories?Service that's a cut aboveOUR tale of haircuts makes Dave Rattray in Stornoway recount the sad story: "In the 1970s I was a student with hair down to my shoulders. I went into the barbers and got the response, 'Do you want an estimate?' "Recently, having considerably less than I did in those days, I asked if I could get a discount, only to get the reply, 'No, you have to pay extra for the search fee'." Behind closed doorsHERALD columnist Harry Reid mentioned veteran Labour MP Eric Heffer storming out of a party conference when Neil Kinnock delivered his anti-Miltiant Tendency speech.It reminded Melvin Haggerty of the story told about Eric being at a Labour Party committee meeting when he was so incensed at what was being said that he stood up to storm out but opened the door to a cupboard instead. When the second door he tried led to the toilet, Eric announced: "Oh bugger it, I'll just stay," and sat down again.What a doughballPUPILS' replies, continued. George Armstrong remembers in Latin class the teacher trying to get English words from the Latin for bread, panis. Seeking the word companion, the teacher urged: "What do you call someone you share your bread with?""A loafer," George replied.Says George: "Retribution followed. I'd forgotten what he once told us, 'I make the jokes in this class.'"

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