PHEW!

All go in Buchanan Street with masked robbers running away after a robbery in the Argyll Arcade. The BBC website also reported that stunt cyclist Danny MacAskill has had his cycle stolen in Glasgow. As actor Colin McCredie pondered: "I wondered if they had escaped on Danny's bike."

Smash and grab

INEVITABLY the Argyll Arcade robbery reminds us of the Glasgow ned whose girlfriend was going on and on about how she wanted hooped earrings for her birthday, and he got so fed up with her moaning that he picked up a brick, broke the window of the jeweller's shop with it, and grabbed a pair of earrings for her. Sadly that did not quieten his young damsel, who then declared that she would also like the dress in the window at Primark.

"Do you think I'm made of bricks?" he asked her.

Stink bomb

MEANWHILE, what's happening in Ayrshire? Reader John Bannerman tells us: "Passing through Irvine on the bus, my attention was drawn to a huge banner on the main road stating, 'Happy 21st Birthday to Shelly Anne'. Unfortunately some Ayrshire wag had gone to the bother of changing the final H to an M."

Phoning home

FRESHERS Week, and a couple of students are heard in Byres Road discussing the previous evening when one of them declared: "You were that drunk last night you asked me to phone a taxi for you."

"Well that doesn't sound so bad," his pal protested.

"We were in your flat," his mate replied.

Blind spot

AN interesting point made by a young lad overheard on a bus on the south side of Glasgow by a reader yesterday. His pal had just come out with the often-argued line: "Mums can find anything, anywhere." But his pal replied: "Unless it's a ringing phone in their handbag."

Animal magic

STILL the interest in Scottish politics continues, with the news story that Prime Minister David Cameron was overheard confiding that the Queen "purred" on the phone when he told her the referendum result. As writer Sanjeev Kohli commented: "The Queen can also do a macaw, an elephant, and Frank Spencer."

Take cover

A READER in England phones to tell us: "I saw the headline on a newspaper in the shop this morning which said 'Parliament to be recalled to approve air strikes' and I thought to myself, I know it was a close referendum result that shook them up a bit, but that's surely an over-reaction."

Question of taste

WE end our search for the West Lothian Question with Sara Twaddle in Cumbernauld reflecting: "Surely the ultimate West Lothian Question is, where does salt and vinegar become salt and sauce?"

Man v plant

LOTS of excitement already about the Ryder Cup at Gleneagles. We recall Sam Torrance telling of an unusual injury he sustained before the 1993 match. Said Sam: "I suffered one of my occasional sleepwalking episodes and threw myself at a 4ft-high plant that was in a pot in my bedroom. In the shadowy darkness I had obviously mistaken the plant for some sort of intruder, and I threw myself at it, cracking my sternum."