A BISHOPBRIGGS reader tells us his teenage daughter was excited about her comfortable and warm onesie outfit that she had bought, and she wondered aloud if they would ever catch on with men.
"We wore them when we were young," her grandfather piped up from behind his newspaper.
"Only we called them overalls."
DINING tales continued. John Newlands recalls: "I was once served some very bland beef fajitas in a Paisley pub. When I mentioned this to the waitress she responded: 'We got complaints they were too hot – so we took all the spice out.' Tortilla and stew, lovely."
The hole truth
ST Patrick's Day yesterday, and Denis MacCann, manager of Glasgow's Indigo Hotel who holds an annual St Patrick's Day breakfast, tells us we may think the potholes are bad in Glasgow, but in his Irish hometown of Athboy, the annual St Patrick's Day Parade was cancelled because they couldn't get insurance for the floats due to the number of potholes in the road.
It of course reminds us of the question, what's the difference between a banker and a pothole?
The answer being of course that you swerve to avoid a pothole.
Not at the races
GREAT week for some punters at the Cheltenham Festival last week. But as Andy Ewan in Dunoon bewails: "Never mind about beef having traces of horse in it. All the horses I backed at Cheltenham were found to have at least 25% donkey in their DNA."
THE Glasgow Comedy Festival has begun with more than 100,000 tickets available for more than 400 shows. Glasgow lawyer turned comedian Susan Calman, appearing at The Stand, says she likes the honesty of Glaswegians. After appearing on TV show Have I Got News for You, she went into her South Side local – "no food, no music, no fun, but the barmaid goes to the bookie's for you" –where she was beckoned over by two wizened old regulars who told her they'd seen her on the telly, and added: "You weren't as awful as we thought you'd be."
RAY Russell in Dundee views a couple of news stories at the weekend and opines: "I saw a report that soldiers returning from combat duty are more likely to be involved in violence than the rest of the population. Does it say anything about ex-soldiers who become MPs?"
Lost for words
"J st t say I w s re lly s d to se th t N rma C lli r p ssed a ay on Fr day," says Derek England. Which is very clever if you recall that veteran comedian Norman Collier, who has sadly died, would pretend that his microphone wasn't working properly.
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