The driver has just finished telling him: “No-one tells me what to do,” when our reader had to say: “Stop here.”
Bald fact
SINGER songwriter Paul Carrack, like many of his audience at Glasgow’s Concert Hall the other night, is not in his first flush of youth.
So many could sympathise when Paul sang the Marvin Gaye hit What’s Going On, and when he got to the line “Who are they to judge us simply because our hair is long?” he actually intoned: “Simply because our hair is gone?”
Short shrift
WE overhear a Glasgow woman arguing that a mutual friend’s boyfriend was a tad on the short side. Or as she declared: “Small?
Put it this way, when it rains, he’s the last to know.”
Ole!
NEWS from Central America, where a number of newspapers carried the headline: “Chinchilla becomes Costa Rica President”. This, of course, was a reference to politician Laura Chinchilla, and not the furry rodent. Nonetheless, a number of weary British voters have already declared that a hamster in a wheel couldn’t be any worse than Gordon Brown.
Monkey business
BEST-SELLING author Alexander McCall Smith’s latest novel about the No 1 Ladies Detective Agency is called Precious and the Puggies, and is written in Scots.
For example, Precious Ramotswe’s dad jokes about being eaten by a lion and states: “It’s weel-kent that if a lion eats a gadgie that’s feelin crabbit, he gets a sair belly.”
All splendid stuff.
However, the title might confuse some folk in the west of Scotland as it is not about Precious’s urge to play the fruit machines, but is, in fact, the older Scots word for monkeys.
Quick off the mark
“I WAS stopped by a traffic cop,” said the loudmouth in the pub the other night. “He came up and asked me, ‘Do you know why I stopped you, sir?’ So I told him, ‘Well if you can’t remember, I’m not going to remind you’.”
Getting the message
AS our Westminster correspondent states: “At the election, if you see a police car with a loudhailer, it’s probably your local MP out canvassing.”
Fat chance
NEIL McDonald in Perthshire notes the British Heart Foundation has made February the National Heart Month, while the Potato Board has made next week National Chip Week, and he wonders if they are related.
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