THE popular Jack Vettriano exhibition at Kelvingrove Art Gallery has possibly brought in a few folk who are not regular art exhibition habitues it seems.
Michael Bruce was at the exhibition behind two Glasgow women when one of them said: "Look at this one, Jean, it's a self-portrait."
"Is that right?" replied Jean. "Who of?"
ROD Stewart opened Glasgow's new Hydro arena last night with an audience not perhaps in the first flush of youth. Heading to the Hydro, Robin Gilmour of Milngavie couldn't stop himself singing the sort-of Rod Stewart classic, Do You Think I'm Sixty?
Bookies on the ball?
MY old chum Tam Cowan, the sports columnist and broadcaster, was in hot water for his newspaper column criticising women's football. Scottish internet bookmaker McBookie immediately jumped in and is offering odds of 100/1 that Tam's young daughter will one day play football for Scotland. And odds of 1000/1 that Tam goes to see the game.
AFTER our story of the Scottish hotel advertising for a "Sioux chef" Celia Stevenson in Ayr tells us she was in a tourist information office just outside Glasgow where she was looking for a bed for the night. Says Celia: "I leafed through their accommodation book to find one B&B proudly advertising all bedrooms "on sweet"."
JOHN Armstrong in Dundee tells us he had to buy a new iron and lets us know: "In the instructions it states something that had never occurred to me before, so I'm hurrying to pass it on, as I think it's very important. It says, 'Don't iron clothing while it's being worn - you'll injure the wearer'."
Sock to the system
SWIMMING baths continued. Matt Vallance tells us of a contemporary who trained as a PE teacher at Jordanhill in Glasgow in the 1960s when he was sent to one of the city's more challenging schools. Taking the boys to the local baths he told one of those assembled at the side of the pool to take his socks off before getting in.
He then realised that hygiene may be a future topic of discussion as the lad replied: "Please sur, ah hiv taken aff ma socks".
A right to-doo
GLASGOW'S George Square has reopened after being cordoned off for a facelift before next year's Commonwealth Games. Crossing the square, James Lland heard a local opine: "I can see the real losers in the rumpus over the square being closed off - the pigeons are looking gey scrawny!"
A GLASGOW doctor tells us he was in awe of his receptionist when she gave a patient phoning in for an appointment to see the doctor a time slot in three days' time. When the agitated patient replied: "Three days! Ah could be dead by then!" she calmly replied: "In that case would someone be able to phone and cancel the appointment?"
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