THE Scottish political news is that First Minister Alex Salmond has put Nicola Sturgeon in charge of the independence campaign and promoted no-nonsense Alex Neil in her place.
As former Labour spin doctor Bill Heaney put it: "Salmond's now between a frock and a hard case."
Always a loser...
INEVITABLY our search for nicknames has wandered into the bizarre. Steve Brennan in Lanarkshire's Glenmavis tells us: "There was a wee Glaswegian nicknamed Jimmy The Coupon. He went out every Saturday and somebody filled him in."
OUR story about the Linn Crematorium funeral reminds Gilbert MacKay in Newton Mearns of when his father, a minister, frequently conducted funerals at Linn. Said Gilbert: "He used to say that he preferred funerals to weddings because the people who attended were more committed. Fortunately, he didn't hear me mumble that, for certain, one of them always was."
REMOVAL stories, and Bill Brown in Dumfries tells us: "When moving from one bungalow to another some years ago, on arriving at the new home, one of the removal men, an older gentleman, remarked, 'Thank God, I thought it was a tenement building!'
"He then said he had been looking at our new postal code which ended 4UP."
SOME excitement amongst TV nostalgia fans with the showing this week of the new series of Dallas. Those familiar with its more extreme plot-lines will sympathise with the Rangers fan who declared: "Imagine coming out of the shower and realising that it was all a dream, and we're not in the Scottish third division after all."
Sour on the Big Apple
ANDY Murray's incredible fight-back at the US Open at Flushing Meadows reminds a reader of the old gag: "What do you think of Flushing, New York?" asked one American.
"I think it's a great idea," replied his mate.
"THESE meaningless management-speak phrases creep into the language everywhere," a reader tells us. "Just the other day I heard someone say that they wished their cat didn't think outside the box."
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