THE storm down south reminds David McKenzie of Glasgow's great storm of 1968 when his parents lived in the west end.
Says David: "At three in the morning, slates were crashing from the roof. A neighbour decided to see if his new car was safe. Due to the wind, his wife persuaded him to dig out his old air raid warden tin hat from the war and wear it for protection.
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"The inspection of the car showed it was parked in a sheltered spot, and no damage had occurred. Satisfied, he started to return to his flat when a gust of wind caught the edge of his tin hat, removed it from his head, and sent it straight through the windscreen of his new car."
WE weren't following the storm story in England too closely but do we believe the reader in London who phoned to tell us: "The Coalition Government's advice was that if your home was in the eye of the storm you should head for your second or third home for safety."
Hard act to follow
THE death of hard-living singer/songwriter Lou Reed reminds us of seeing him at the Glasgow Apollo in the early 1970s. Lou looked a bit delicate, and legend had it that he had to be dragged from the car taking him to the Apollo semi-comatose. At one point he sat on the edge of the stage which had a vertiginous drop to the audience. It was the only time we recall the Apollo bouncers turning their backs on the crowd and watching the act instead, in case they had to jump in to save him.
Making a mark
TEACHERS continued. A Modern Studies teacher who commented on a pupil's report that she was inconsistent tells us he was momentarily silenced when she came up to him afterwards and asked: "How come I've got 'inconsistent' for my behaviour when I'm good some of the time?"
In the spirit intended
OUR tale of the TV researchers being mistaken for DSS officials reminds John Morrison in Fife of being with a well-dressed business colleague, both of them over 6ft tall, and going into a Soho pub in London for a drink. A number of the customers promptly left, and the owner came up, said they could have a free drink, but could they leave straight after. Says Jim: "He thought we were police officers. We didn't disabuse him, ordered two large whiskies, and enjoyed them before leaving."
Having a screw loose
WE hear some chaps in a Glasgow pub discussing how pessimistic a mutual friend was. "He's that bad," said one of them, "that if he found a screw on the floor, he's spend the rest of the day worrying what was going to fall apart and kill him."
A MILNGAVIE reader recounts: "A friend was telling me recently that his wife had heard on the grapevine that their student son seemed to have an amazingly high sex drive.
"It turned out that the lad's girlfriend lives in Aberdeen."
TEENAGERS can be so cruel. As one was heard telling his pal on a train into Glasgow: "My mum's trying to use Twitter these days. It's like watching the raptors in Jurassic Park trying to figure out how to open the doors."
Just the job
WE don't get many Big Issue stories these days as it has now become less remarkable to see people selling it. However, a reader swears to us that he heard a business chap being asked: "Would you like a Big Issue pal?" He replied: "No thanks. I'm sure my wife will already have one lined up for me when I get home."
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