STRESSFUL places, airports.

BBC1 Scotland has a documentary on Thursday evening about Edinburgh Airport in which a duty manager admits that the new boarding pass security scanners occasionally cause confusion. "Where it says facedown," he says, "we've even had people put their faces against the reader."

Top to bottom

THE prestigious Washington Post newspaper has finally got round to writing a lengthy piece on the pros and cons of Scottish independence. One reader added his own thoughts on the possibility by explaining: "There are those who consider it no accident of geography that the island of Great Britain has a shape reminiscent of a reclining man, with Scotland situated where the head and brains would be, and London and the south-east of England at the bottom where one would do one's business.

"It cannot be denied that the Lord works in mysterious ways."

Bailey's on a tree

TALKING of politics, comedian Bill Bailey, always a big draw at the Edinburgh Fringe. is touring a new show where he muses on Westminster. "Ed Miliband is like a plastic bag caught in a tree. No-one knows how he got up there, and no-one can be bothered to get him down," argued Bill. A reader who saw the show tells us: "I heard someone say that he made Ed Miliband sound more interesting than he actually is."

Telly vision

WE asked for your TV show suggestions post-independence and Ed Hunter proposes a Scottish Breid Making Competition which will probably, yes, wait for it, be won by an outsider.

Sullying the good name of Glasgow, Francis Reilly goes for the Great British Boak Off, which will be held in Sauchiehall Street every Saturday night.

Failure to deliver

IT'S always annoying when companies won't deliver to the Scottish islands. A reader on Arran ordered a lifejacket from a well-known on-line shopping company which wouldn't deliver. Says our reader: "Apparently, they can't be sent because they have to be transported by ferry. I told them that lifejackets would surely be safe enough on a ferry, but they wouldn't agree."

Washout

DONALD Macdonald in Bishopbriggs tells us that the Glasgow Slow Down on Sunday which involved 100 cyclists creating a ribbon of colour around the city centre with special chalk emitting machines on their bikes as part of city's cultural programme was a bit of a wash-out due to the weather. The colourful lines were simply washed away by the rain. A disappointed cyclist was told by one onlooker at George Square: "You can't risk putting anything down in Glasgow and expect it to remain."

Cooking up trouble

IT might be the Easter holidays but already senior pupils are studying for their exams. A reader tells us her husband tried to help their teenage son with his maths before sadly announcing: "I just can't get my head around pi." She couldn't stop herself from replying: "That's odd, as you've no problem getting your mouth around it."

After Noah...

AND one for you film fans - as Easter approaches, James Martin tells us: "Matt Damon is set to play an all-action version of Jesus in a new Easter-themed film. It will of course be called Bourne Again Christian."