There was challenging weather aplenty in Glasgow yesterday for the LibDems' national conference at the SECC.
"Blowing this way and that in the wind, a bit wet, and bound to make you depressed," said one observer at the political shindig.
"Anyway, that's quite enough about Nick Clegg."
To baldly go ...
OR as BBC political editor Nick Robinson told his Twitter followers: "Pilot on flight taking me to the LibDem conference warns that the weather is 'a wee bit Scottish' in Glasgow. Can't wait!"
MEANWHILE for those getting out of Scotland at the weekend, a reader on the East Coast line tells us the morning announcement on his train could only happen in Scotland, he imagined.
A member of staff on board told travellers over the public address system: "We have a range of alcoholic drinks on sale. I know it's a bit early, but why not start now?"
DAVID Leggat's just-published book Struth, the story of legendary Rangers manager Bill Struth, reveals that a young Bill was a professional runner. Having arrived in Wales for a race, he didn't have enough money for the train fare home and was appalled to see the handicapper had given him an impossible task.
Thinking on his feet, Bill pretended to be a spectator, then joined the race 20 yards further forward, and secured victory. Before the starter could react, Bill grabbed his winning voucher, galloped to the bank to cash it, then ran to catch the first train out before he was stopped.
Years later he sent the race meeting a donation amounting to 10 times that of the prize money.
Agony and ivory
TENEMENT tales continued. Says Norman Lawson: "We once inherited an upright piano from an old aunt who lived in a four-storey tenement in Glasgow. When I telephoned the removal man, he said, 'It'll be on the top floor.'
"When I asked him how he knew that, the weary response was, 'They always are.'"
A PIECE of pop music whimsy from James Martin who asks: "Do you think Lord Gaga feels intimidated by his wife's fame?"
Assault and source
THE Osiligi Maasai Warriors, a group of traditional performers from Kenya, appeared at the Irvine Harbour Arts Centre a few days ago where, during a question-and-answer session, one of the warriors asked a wee girl: "Where do we come from?"
After a moment's pause, she answered: "Saltcoats?"
However we think she may have misunderstood the question and thought he was asking where she was from, unless she really was suggesting that Saltcoats is the kind of place where chaps run around with spears.
"I'M such a loser," a reader heard a young chap on the bus tell his pal. "I've just worked out that I've got more electronic screens than I have friends."
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