A FINAL mistranslation as former colleague Jimmy Watson recalls harmonica virtuoso Larry Adler telling of the time he lived in Paris where he saw a John Wayne western in which the great man swaggered into a saloon and snarled at the barkeep: "Gimme a shot of redeye."
Beneath in French was written: "Une petite dubonnet, s'il vous plait."
Flight of fancy
A MELROSE reader tells us she phoned Traveline, the transport information service, to ask about a Sunday bus to Newcastle. The person on the other end was having difficult tracking down such a service until they told her that the computer eventually suggested: "You take the bus to Glasgow, fly from there to Birmingham, and then take the bus from Birmingham."
An interesting day out admittedly, but she decided not to bother.
AN EDINBURGH reader was discussing the new book on the D-Day Landings by Ben Macintyre with an older friend who told her he was part of a group of medical officers returning to Aberdeen at London's Euston Station when rows of troops for the landings came marching in. Said her friend: "One of the docs had a glass eye. He was waiting for his paramour to say her fond goodbyes. The rest of us decided to go for a drink, telling him to keep an eye on all our baggage.
"On our return, no sign of him except his glass eye on top of the Surgeon Captain's kit with ours all neat and ship-shape around it."
In the vanguard
OUR picture of the Virgin Media van named Van Morrison, part of the company's plan to use film and music references on their vehicles, brings forth the suggestions from David Russell in Penicuik that the Van Cleef van would be driven by a proper cowboy and the Van Guard would have an ex squaddie at the wheel.
Write ... wrong
THE SAYINGS of bosses continued. Joe McNellis in Omaha says: "I recall an old boss who, when trying to make a point, said, 'Gentlemen, do you not see the handwriting is down the hall?'"
MANCHESTER City's late goals winning the title contributed to one of the most exciting ends to an English Premiership season ever, but not everyone is impressed. Declares reader Mike Fagan: "The English Premiership is definitely the best that money can buy."
ANOTHER reader inquires: "How do you put a cork back in a champagne bottle?" He answers himself: "Ask a Man United fan."
WE'VE not mentioned American tourists for a while, so we pass on from a reader in London who heard a chap chatting up a tipsy American girl in the pub who asked where he was from. "I'm Cornish," the chap replied.
This confused the American girl, who asked: "Is that like from Cornland?"
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