Sick gloria transit

Diary Editor

Thursday 14 April 2011

WE asked for your tales of school cruises, and Alun Hotchkiss in Luxembourg reminds us it wasn't all plain sailing.

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Ken Smith

“We left Dundee and cruised north to Bergen and the Baltic. The second night was through a Force 9 storm, and the resulting epidemic of sea-sickness was such that several of us who’d bought our souvenir caps with SS Uganda on the front changed them to Spewganda. Happy days.”

And a chap who sailed across a choppy Bay of Biscay on the Nevassa says: “There were so many kids on board there were three sittings for lunch, and we had to wear different coloured badges depending on the sitting. So many folk were ill that day that the more sturdy of us could simply take the badges off the kids being ill and treat ourselves to three lunches.”Couch potato “I’M sleeping on the couch again tonight,” announced the chap in the pub.After one or two mutterings of sympathy from his fellow topers, he then added: “I have to tell you, it’s great being the night watchman at the DFS showroom.”Root causeAND Stewart MacKenzie recalls the story at the time of the wee boy who stood up in front of his class and excitedly told them that his mummy and daddy were going to take him to see the Garden Vegetable.Dead cleverTHE inaugural Moffat Book Event this Saturday will concentrate on the work of the late Moffat romantic novelist DE Stevenson who died in 1973. Dorothy Stevenson is in fact one of the few people who had read their own obituary. The Times actually printed her obituary by mistake years before she died, and so furious was she that she arranged for her publisher, Sir William Collins, to write a better one which Dorothy ended up proof-reading.Not sitting pretty OUR stories about airplane seating arrangements remind Wendy Hunter in San Francisco: “I worked for the now defunct Highland Express Airlines at Prestwick. After seating was completed in a full economy class, my colleague noticed a poor wee man doing his best to get comfortable while being squashed and unable to use his armrest due to a hugely overweight woman in the seat next to him. My well-meaning colleague discreetly told him there was a spare seat in first class and would he like to move to it. The passenger replied that, no, he would just stay next to his wife.”Anglo file A GLASGOW reader watching the American news channel CNN on his telly got annoyed when they referred to Prince William and his girlfriend Kate meeting in “St Andrews, England.”He thought about complaining, he says, until every student they interviewed there was an “uppper-class Engoish oik giving it yahoo” so decided not to bother.

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Sick gloria transit

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