OUR mention of Max Bygraves at the Glasgow Empire reminds a reader of Roy Castle recalling playing the Empire in the 1950s when he and Jimmy James were supporting Slim Whitman.
Said Roy: "They started hissing all the way from the Royal Circle to the stalls. Then the slow clap began. We went through an 18-minute spot in four minutes without leaving a word out.
"We came off and Slim said: 'Hey, what's going on here?' Jimmy replied: 'You are'."
WE asked for your removal stories and a Stirlingshire reader tells us the foreman in charge of his removal was fed up with the young lad in the crew constantly asking what he should do next. Eventually the foreman told him: "You go in the wardrobe to hold the coat-hangers steady while we carry it downstairs."
Our reader says the youngster was opening the wardrobe door before he realised the foreman was joking.
Bhoy with no name?
CELTIC's new signing, Tunisian striker Lassad Nouioui, has a surname like a bad Scrabble hand, which has left the country's worthy sports commentators struggling with the pronunciation. A Celtic fan listening to Radio Scotland memorably described it: "Chick Young sounded like his tongue was in an arm-wrestling contest with a drunk sailor."
A Celtic spokesman has thrown the commentators a lifeline by saying the new striker likes to be known simply as Lassad.
THE Duke of York abseiled down the Shard skyscraper building for charity yesterday.
Many a reader wondered if when he was only half-way up, he felt he was neither up nor down.
DOGS' names continued. Sandy Wardrope tells us: "Years back my Aunt Celia had a Skye terrier called Whisky, who was prone to doing a runner whenever the front door was left open.
"He escaped one day just before the New Year and had my aunt running after him shouting: 'Whisky, Whisky, here Whisky'.
"The nearby council bin-men heard her shouts, and excited, immediately ran towards her shouting: 'Where, where?'
POLITICAL news at Westminster, and James Lyons comments: "Can't believe the Green Party have picked a new leader – surely they should have recycled an old one?"
Those mean streets?
OUR very very old lion jokes should have ended but we mention one more because it reminds us of flag days. Flag days! Do you remember them?
Anyway, Andy Craik in East Kilbride says: "The variation of the escaped lions story which I remember was the one that implied that Aberdonians were stingy, "Two lions were walking up a completely deserted Union Street and one said to the other, 'Trust you to pick a flag day to escape'."
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