OUR language is constantly evolving.
Piero Pieraccini, boss of the Hamishes' Hoose pub in Paisley, heard a young girl in a shop declare: "Me n ma bestie wir takin selfies in wir onesies." It took him a while to work out that she was indicating that she and her best friend were indulging in self portraiture while dressed in leisure wear.
ROD Stewart's opening night concert at Glasgow's Hydro was a great success. Robin Gilmour was sitting next to a pleasant elderly couple from London who were fascinated by the far younger fan in front of them who frequently nipped out for a drink. When Rod finally sang his hit Sailing, Robin had to tell the London couple that the young chap in front was merely singing a local variation as he chanted "I am steamin'" along with Rod.
YES, the students are back, including the arty ones at the Royal Conservatoire of Scotland in Glasgow's Renfrew Street. It was confirmed to us how arty they are when we noticed secured to the bike rack outside the college yesterday - a unicycle.
OUR story about the Scottish hotel advertising for a "Sioux chef" reminds Mary Donaldson of the office junior who talked to her about the boss's "Apache case".
Throwing in the towel
SWIMMING baths continued. Sandy Hendry in Largs reminds us of the routine at Maryhill baths which had the wooden-doored changing cubicles. The attendant would blow the whistle when those with red wristbands had to come out of the water. Suddenly there were a lot of one-armed swimmers. Those who stayed in then had their towels placed over their doors.
If they still didn't get out after the second whistle then their towels were thrown in the water.
A NEW book about the mercurial Glasgow-born former Scotland and Manchester United manager Tommy Docherty, Tommy Doc by David Tossell, recalls his brief spell as manager at Rotherham when he had introduced some friends to the team before a cup-tie. When the club chairman asked what was going on, Tommy told him: "I'm getting the lads used to shaking hands with the King for when we go to Wembley."
"It's the Queen, Tommy."
"It'll be the King by the time this lot get there."
What sauce ...
THE west end of Glasgow can be home to the occasional luvvy. A reader swears he was in a diner there when a chap leaned over to the next table and asked the customer sitting there: "Are you?" Before he could finish the diner loudly replied: "Yes, I'm in the touring production at the Theatre Royal this week."
The confused chap who started the conversation told him: "No, I was only going to ask, are you finished with the ketchup?"
Tale of the tape
THE Herald story yesterday about Slater's Menswear reminds Paul Cortopassi in Bonnybridge: "At my last visit the salesman wrapped his tape round my middle and asked what size I was. I airily replied that the last time I was measured I was a 34. I heard him mutter: 'Well we won't be seeing 34 again anytime soon, sir' before handing me two perfectly fitting suits which, strangely, had no labels indicating their size."
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