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SO all your Christmas shopping done?

A reader says he was in a Glasgow store buying some last-minute decorations when the assistant announced: "There are no angels left." Our reader hoped it was an indication of stock levels rather than a general comment on life in general.

Weather news

NOT very Christmassy weather just now in the west of Scotland. David Gardner on Bute tells us some weather insight relayed to him by a friend from Paisley who told him: "In England they say, 'Rain before seven, fine by eleven'. In Paisley they reckon, 'Rain before seven, that's it for the week'."

Manger danger

MORE on nativity plays as Kate Hunter in Clarkston tells us about a friend's granddaughter who was a donkey in one such show. Says Kate: "Later she commented that her back was sore. Her concerned Gran asked what caused it. Her answer? 'I've just carried Mary all the way to Bethlehem'."

Air raid

CLYDE ship enthusiasts are looking forward to Captain RL Hutchison's book Top 10 Ships Of The Clyde which will be launched, as it were, at Glasgow's Riverside Musuem next month. We like the fact that in the old days, as the book explains, the steamer company Caledonian had its own bakery at Gourock with the resultant cakes and pastries transported every morning by boat across to Craigendoran to the waiting ships. The cakes were usually stacked on trays on the open deck on the way over and were attacked by determined seagulls hoping to carry off a treat.

We can only assume that in those days health inspectors didn't carry much sway out on the open water.

Going down a storm

PILOTS continued. Says Alex Bradley: "I remember one particularly bad flight from Durban to Johannesburg when we were landing in a terrible storm. It was real white-knuckle stuff.

"When we eventually got down the captain came on and said, 'there are only two things I can say about that landing - first is that we were on time, and second we got the right airport'."

Commentary on life

THE death of sports commentator David Coleman has led to a flurry of commentating gaffes which he may or may not have said, as many are attributed to him which were either made up or said by other people. One English newspaper carried the claim that when commentating on a Manchester City game, David Coleman mentioned Scottish winger Asa Hartford's hole-in-the-heart condition. Later on in the game he described Hartford as a "whole-hearted player".

However a reader then commented: "Sorry, but it was Archie McPherson that uttered that gem during a Scotland game at Hampden."

You see, Scots will even claim our commentators are more memorable than the English.

TV or not TV

WE asked for your Scottish TV programmes post-independence, and suggestions include:

Downtown Cabbie: A Glasgow driver's city centre adventures on a Friday night. (Peter Houston).

Life on Mars: The Glasgow diet explained. (Stephen Gold).

Queue? Aye! The chat from the toilets at the new Glasgow Hydro. (Jim Gracie).

Game of Throw-Ins: Coverage of the less interesting games in Scottish football. (George MacLeod).

Dinner for two at the Urban Bar and Brasserie, Glasgow, for the best.

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