WEST end bar The Sparkle Horse has a slate behind the bar on which the winning pub quiz team has its winnings chalked up, and then the team members can spend the cash on drinks.
This week's winners were the imaginatively named The Partick Swayzes, combining local geography and a late lamented American actor. After a few rounds, the prize money was much reduced so the slate simply read "Partick Swayzes, £3.50."
At that three American tourists came into the bar, spotted the slate and ordered: "Three Partick Swayzes." As the barman tried to think up a cocktail to give them, four regulars piped up that they would also like a Partick Swayze, so if you have any idea what should be in it, let us know.
An outsider
OUR nostalgic mention of Milanda bread reminds Jim Scott of being on a bus in Duke Street near the former Milanda Bakery when a youth got on wearing overalls with the slogan: "Mother's Pride" stitched on it.
The driver nodded at the badge and asked the chap: "Are you?"
Note to self
TRADITIONAL music festival Celtic Connections continues in Glasgow, with one of the performers asking his audience: "How do you get a guitar player to stop playing?"
He answered himself: "Put sheet music in front of him."
Fair reflection
A READER tells us she was in the ladies in a city centre bar when a young girl tugging a brush through her hair remarked to her pal: "They need to get some decent mirrors in here. I don't look good in any of these ones."
First time for everything
WE mentioned saying the wrong thing at the wrong time. A Paisley reader said his wife was moaning about something trivial he had forgotten to do, when he told her: "You sound like my ex-wife."
His shocked spouse told him he had never said he had been married before.
"I haven't," he told her.
In training
A READER in his London local was listening to the news about Gordon Strachan being made Scotland manager when an English chap further up the bar said: "Strachan says he's already preparing for the 2014 World Cup."
He added: "Must have bought himself a new telly."
Keep on running
KEEPING fit is on many minds in January. "I went out for a run at the weekend," said a chap in a Glasgow bar to his pals. "But had to go back after two minutes because I'd forgotten something."
When a mate asked what, he added: "I'd forgotten I'm fat, unfit and can't run for more than two minutes."
Why are you making commenting on The Herald only available to subscribers?
It should have been a safe space for informed debate, somewhere for readers to discuss issues around the biggest stories of the day, but all too often the below the line comments on most websites have become bogged down by off-topic discussions and abuse.
heraldscotland.com is tackling this problem by allowing only subscribers to comment.
We are doing this to improve the experience for our loyal readers and we believe it will reduce the ability of trolls and troublemakers, who occasionally find their way onto our site, to abuse our journalists and readers. We also hope it will help the comments section fulfil its promise as a part of Scotland's conversation with itself.
We are lucky at The Herald. We are read by an informed, educated readership who can add their knowledge and insights to our stories.
That is invaluable.
We are making the subscriber-only change to support our valued readers, who tell us they don't want the site cluttered up with irrelevant comments, untruths and abuse.
In the past, the journalist’s job was to collect and distribute information to the audience. Technology means that readers can shape a discussion. We look forward to hearing from you on heraldscotland.com
Comments & Moderation
Readers’ comments: You are personally liable for the content of any comments you upload to this website, so please act responsibly. We do not pre-moderate or monitor readers’ comments appearing on our websites, but we do post-moderate in response to complaints we receive or otherwise when a potential problem comes to our attention. You can make a complaint by using the ‘report this post’ link . We may then apply our discretion under the user terms to amend or delete comments.
Post moderation is undertaken full-time 9am-6pm on weekdays, and on a part-time basis outwith those hours.
Read the rules hereComments are closed on this article