• Text size      
  • Send this article to a friend
  • Print this article

Spelling or grammar?

OUR story of Facebook mis-spellings reminds a reader of having to keep his face straight when his daughter posted on Facebook "I love the smell of Paul's colon".

He is really hoping it is a reference to after-shave rather than a deep interest in anatomy.

Spouse call

IF only there were still a thriving music hall in Glasgow. If there were, we suspect a line given to us by reader Michael Bruce would be in use.

"Who was that lady I saw you with last night?"

"That was no lady... that was Mrs Goodwin."

Harsh, but clever.

A poor writer?

THE 200th anniversary of the birth of Charles Dickens reminds us of the authors' tent at the Edinburgh International Book Festival having a guest book a few years ago where authors could record their visit. That year someone had written: "Forgive the lousy handwriting. I am dead after all. Charles Dickens."

Mean-spirited

INCIDENTALLY, Dickens was visiting Edinburgh's Canongate cemetery when he came across the grave of Ebenezer Scroggie, described on his tombstone as a "meal man" which Dickens thought actually said "mean man" and thus his character Ebenezer Scrooge was created. Every Glaswegian Dickens later met no doubt told him: "Edinburgh? Mean man? Easy mistake to make ."

Streetwise?

PROOF that the recession is sadly hitting folk in Glasgow. A reader leaving Glasgow's Central Station heard a mendicant sitting on the pavement ask a smartly-dressed chap in a suit for "any spare change".

The suit-wearer glanced at the coin-filled paper cup at the beggar's feet, and replied: "You're probably making more than me these days," and kept on walking.

Time-barred

THERE'S been a huge rise, of course, in goods being ordered online for home delivery but it can lead to frustrations. As a reader waiting at home all day phoned to ask us: "Do you think if you go for a job interview to become an Argos delivery driver, they are ok with it if you say you'll turn up for the interview anytime between 7am and 7pm?"

Saving grace

READER ANN Richards reads in her local newspaper that the new Forth Valley Royal Hospital A&E department includes 22 assessment rooms and "two resurrection rooms" with direct ambulance access.

She is delighted that the age of miracles is not over.

Major hitch

"DID you hear that Wee Charlie got banned from this pub for the rest of his life?" said the toper in the pub the other night when his mates arrived.

"What did he do?" asked one in astonishment. "Got married," replied the would-be comedian.

Commenting & Moderation

We moderate all comments on HeraldScotland on either a pre-moderated or post-moderated basis.
If you're a relatively new user then your comments will be reviewed before publication and if we know you well and trust you then your comments will be subject to moderation only if other users or the moderators believe you've broken the rules

Moderation is undertaken full-time 9am-6pm on weekdays, and on a part-time basis outwith those hours. Please be patient if your posts are not approved instantly.

82630