Duncan Smith watched bouncers at a Paisley pub invoking the pub's rule that football colours should not be worn on the premises. Despite the cup win they were applying the rule to St Mirren fans and not letting them in if wearing team replica strips or scarves.

Says Duncan: "I found it strange to witness one chap remove his scarf and put it in his pocket before gaining entry. What was strange? His face was painted with black and white stripes."

Friends and neighbours?

ALEX Salmond gives the date for the independence referendum. Perusing the details on the BBC website, a reader notes that someone left the comment at the end of the story: "Let's all hope that sense prevails, and a Third World country isn't created on our doorstep."

Says our reader: "It would have helped if the person leaving the comment had stated whether they were in England or Scotland."

Brain spotting

NATURALLY a few celebrities took to Twitter to comment on the referendum. When Sky news presenter Adam Boulton tweeted: "Scottish opposition leader Jo Lamont, Lab, says Scotland will be on pause until the referendum." Trainspotting author Irvine Welsh added: "As opposed to the breathtaking dynamism of the last 40 years?"

Cold comfort

A POLLOKSHIELDS reader tells us she was asking a girlfriend how her meeting with a chap from an internet dating site had gone.

Her pal replied: "It was quite clear that the long romantic walks he talked about on his profile were mainly to the fridge."

Ygorra laugh

CARDONALD College is to merge with Anniesland and Langside colleges this summer to form Glasgow Clyde College. We've always been impressed by its students, but we recall when the great Glasgow students' charity magazine Ygorra made reference to a student "who was so stupid he would have difficulty obtaining entrance to Cardonald College".

It was claimed the college principal complained and was given the retraction "Ygorra accepts that no student is so stupid that he or she would be refused admission to Cardonald College."

Any readers have fond memories of Ygorra?

Flight of fancy

CALUM McNicol was flying from Glasgow to London City airport this week when it was announced that both the pilot and first officer were female. The flight of course went without incident until they arrived when the purser eventually announced to frustrated passengers: "We're very sorry, ladies and gentlemen, for the delay in disembarking. The ground crew are in the process of repositioning the passenger stairs."

The chap behind Calum couldn't stop himself from declaring: "I telt ye. She might have driven down here okay, but I knew she wouldn't be able to park."