NICKNAMES: Eric Hudson recalls working at DC Thomson's in Dundee in the 1960s where there lurked a man nicknamed Thrombosis –because he was the bloody clot in circulation.
David Ferguson's list contains some nicknames that sadly are unrepeatable, but we liked The Parachute, who always let everyone down at the last minute; Bo Derek, a bloke named Derek with terrible body odour; Dulux – his pals reckon he's only got one coat; and The Hostage – when anyone asks for help, he always replies: 'Sorry, my hands are tied.'
There's also The Marksman – when it's his turn to buy a round, he always shoots the craw; and Norrie Two Bunnets, a Glasgow taxi-driver who wears a wig under his cloth cap.
WE suspect this is an old one, but in the days of yore some fire-service workers were happy to accept the nickname of Toidi, not quite realising that it was in fact "idiot" spelled backwards. Point proven, in other words.
Names that stick
MATT Vallance, meantime, says an Ayrshire paper once had a female editor who was known as The Teflon Magnolia, because when things went wrong, it was never her fault. Instead, she always blamed the deputy editor, who was known to the staff as Boogie; because of course, you blame it on the boogie. More nicknames tomorrow.
Lashings of irony
WE hear the big bestseller round Govan way is Fifty Shades Of White. There's no story as such but everyone in the book gets - Well, fill in the missing word for yourself.
Slot to take in
FIRE and Rescue stories, continued. John Milligan recalls a pub fire in Kilmarnock.
Local police, thinking it might have been started to cover up a break-in, asked the fire officer in charge if he'd seen a one-armed bandit on the premises.
No, the officer said. The pub had been empty when they arrived.
Another officer in charge, something of a joker, responded to a fire at a small electrical box at the Electric Brae, south of Ayr, and radioed the control room.
Could the power be switched off to the brae, he asked an unsuspecting operator? The operator fell for it. Wilco, came the reply. We'll contact the electricity board and get them to send out an engineer ...
Free spirits of the fringe
OVERHEARD at the Stand Comedy Club launch party in Embra: hacks and comedians at the Underbelly launch were given three slips of paper entitling them to a free drink. But they were in simple black and white, so it was an easy matter for stand-up comic Scott Agnew to run off 20 A4 sheets on the photocopier at a local newsagent's and cut them up –thus providing him and his friends with free booze all night.
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