SAD to hear of the death of fiery Labour politician Janey Buchan.
We remember when she was standing as Labour's European candidate, and her campaign bus was slowly going down Byres Road with the chap on board bellowing through the loudspeaker :"Vote Buchan. Vote Labour."
As usual, the speakers weren't of the best quality as the bus was stopped by the police and the Labour volunteers told they had to stop swearing. The officers thought the chap had been shouting "Vote f***** Labour".
Appetite for politics
JANEY, a woman of strong views, didn't always see eye-to-eye with fellow politician George Galloway. But George says that when he was a callow youth, Janey took him to his first silver-service lunch at the Station Hotel in Perth to meet the then general secretary of the Labour Party, Ron Hayward.
George later recalled that he didn't know which cutlery to use but was going to follow Janey. "The trouble was Janey could really talk," said George later. "As Hayward ploughed through his lunch, Janey wouldn't shut her mouth and eat. And neither therefore could I. It was excruciating."
Bag a bargain
INDEPENDENCE oddities continued. A prankster put Scotland for sale on the internet auction site e-Bay this week. The seller wrote: "Due to recent political and economical differences the UK and Scotland have decided to go separate ways so this is your chance to get your hands on a ready-made country." He added that it had "some cosmetic damage but was otherwise in excellent condition".
Bids had gone over £150,000 before the eBay folk cottoned on and removed it.
A RANGERS fan tells us the club is no longer interested in signing £1.5 million Swedish player Mervan Celik. They decided to look elsewhere when they discovered the player's wife is called Mona.
HOSPITALS. They can be confusing places. Reader Allison Gillespie in Glasgow was visiting her mum in hospital with her partner when the sweet old lady in the bed opposite shouted out: "You're my daughter Mary!"
Allison went over to calm her down and reassure her that she was not in fact her daughter. She thought it was all going well until she returned to her partner at her mum's bed only to hear the woman shout: "Mary! That's not your husband, you slut!"
Wonders of evolution
GLASGOW public relations boss Jack Irvine has been contacted by friends in Gibraltar about the local council's plan to boost tourism by promoting the Rock's links to Neanderthal man.
They are still musing over Jack's reply that Glasgow could supply some living examples of Neanderthal man. Adds Jack: "Although to be fair, many of them have developed basic computer skills and spend all of their time on the internet venting their spleen about certain city-based football clubs."
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