PROBLEMS we never realised existed.

A reader tells us his teenage daughter recently took a job in a call centre, and when he asked her how the job was going she told him: "A caller really made it difficult for me today. I asked him when his credit card expired and he said, 'April next year.' Do you know how long it took me to work out that I had to type in '04/15'?"

Waiting game

A READER catching a train on the south side into Glasgow city centre heard a young girl excitedly tell her pal: "There was a guy in the waiting room, not texting or looking at his phone or anything! Just waiting. Really freaked me out."

Mobile toilet outrage

WE splashed out on a few toilet stories, reminding Douglas Graham in Gartcosh of being in the loo at Glasgow Airport in the early 1990s with a mobile phone, which then, of course, was still uncommon. After his phone rang, and he answered the call, he could hear a broad Glasgow accent in the adjoining stall comment very loudly: "That's it noo. You cannae go for a sit-down in peace without one o' thae yuppies talking on one o' thae phones."

He might not have used the word sit-down.

Gaelic with your burger?

JIM Anderson was passing the McDonald's branch in Inverness and noticed the company had printed "Greasibh" on the door and initially thought it was a warning in Gaelic about the state of its products. Closer inspection showed that the company had actually put the slogan "Greasibh air ais," although Jim wonders if it would have been safer simply to stick to the English version "Haste ye back".

Pupil's healthy outlook

SCOTTISH pupils have just done their maths exam at Higher and something called National 5s. One Bearsden parent tells us when he asked his son how he got on, he thought about it for a moment before replying: "I think what's important is that we have our health."

Teacher's tempting date

INCIDENTALLY, a history teacher tells us he was tempted to give a mark to the pupil in the exam who, when asked "What ended in 1918?", wrote "1917".

Baby tale does the rounds

OUR story about the empty child's seat on the bike reminds Lyn Bulloch on Rothesay: "We flew to France to see our new grandchild with a Moses basket as a gift.

"The empty basket was going round the luggage carousel, and I couldn't resist saying loudly, 'Ou est le bébé?'"

Killie fan is cranky

IT'S tough for fans as the clubs at the bottom of the SPL slug it out to avoid the play-offs. Reader Iain McEwan tells us that after Kilmarnock were beaten by Ross County someone posted on a Killie fans' Facebook page: "Do us a favour Allan Johnston and resign" - a reference of course to the Kilmarnock manager. Immediately someone posted: "Hopefully before the Hearts game." Harshly, someone then added: "Hopefully before Emmerdale."

Cracking bit of advice

FUGITIVE armed robber Michael "Skull Cracker" Wheatley has been arrested in London. Before he was discovered, police advised the public not to approach him. As a reader phones to opine: "Telling people not to approach someone called 'Skull Cracker' seems a little bit on the superfluous side."