OUR occasional stories on National Service remind one older reader of reporting for his stint in uniform when he had to undertake a medical, and the doctor asked: "Can you read the letters on the chart?"
"What letters?" replied our reader, hoping for a way out.
"Well," replied the doctor, "you've passed the hearing test."
The wrong order
IT can be a stressful time ordering coffees with all their different names. A reader was in a Glasgow coffee shop when the barista shouted out: "I have a tea, latte, and cappuccino."
No-one moved to collect them until the chap serving stared at the customer at the front of the queue who eventually replied: "No, not mine. I ordered a latte, cappuccino, and tea."
PRIME Minister David Cameron yesterday ruled out an inquiry into Culture Secretary Jeremy Hunt's handling of the BSkyB takeover. But as a retired teacher who watched Prime Minister's Questions tells us: "The PM said it was not necessary to have a 'parallel' inquiry that would 'cut across' the Leveson inquiry. One can't help thinking that geometry was not his best subject at Eton."
Seat of learning
READER Chester Studzinski was struggling to fit a child seat in his car for his grandson, and was surprised that there was no instruction booklet issued with it. He went online, where a fellow owner helpfully explained that the instruction booklet was zipped into the bottom of the seat, well out of sight.
Chester located it with difficulty then shook his head when he discovered on page 12 of the now-recovered booklet an illustration showing where the booklet was to be found. So that's alright then.
A READER in Glasgow hears a young woman tell her friends, while discussing the difficulties of relationships: "Breaking up was more fun when you could throw things at their head instead of just unfriending them on Facebook."
THE Scottish Tories' deputy leader Jackson Carlaw was extremely vexed about First Minister Alex Salmond this week, and described Mr Salmond's dealings with press baron Rupert Murdoch as making him look "like a flash used-car salesman".
But as a reader points out: "Er, Mr Carlaw's Wikipedia entry points out that he himself was a car salesman for 25 years."
Well, it probably takes one to know one.
OLD Firm humour continued. Defiant Rangers fans at Sunday's final Old Firm game of the season tried to put the cub's financial woes behind them by singing "I am Rangers till I die" to the tune of the old Sunday School ditty "I am H.A.P.P.Y.". Within minutes Celtic fans were responding with the dire warning to the same tune: "You are Rangers till July."
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