• Text size      
  • Send this article to a friend
  • Print this article

The Diary: Disaster zone

GLASWEGIAN Frank Mosley, currently exiled in France, phoned Saga Insurance to renew his car insurance.

Custom Disqus identifier: 
http://www.heraldscotland.com/comment/ken-smiths-diary/the-diary-disaster-zone-1.1133391

He was wondering about his choice of insurance company when they started playing the theme from the film Titanic while he was on hold.

 

Toilet humour

SAD to hear of the death of former Glasgow Tory councillor and later MSP John Young. A true gentleman. We always liked the story John told of when he first canvassed in Gorbals in the early 1960s.

He went up a tenement close, knocked on two doors without getting an answer, then knocked on the third door which was opened only enough for a man to keek out and ask gruffly what he wanted.

John handed in an election leaflet and made the short prepared speech about hoping to get the chap’s vote. The man behind the door opined vociferously that Mr Young would not get far in politics canvassing cludgies.

 

Crossed wires

JOHN retained his sense of humour when he was elected as the oldest Tory in the Scottish Parliament. When he was patiently waiting to speak in the parliament, the presiding officer controlling the microphones got in a bit of a fankle and announced: “I’m sorry. I pressed the wrong button.” John merely told him: “Well, I’m glad you’re not president of the United States.”

 

Super powers

WE asked for your school cadet stories, and Bruce Skivington recalls: “As a cadet in 1729 Squadron (Royal High) in the 1960s we were handed manuals on aircraft technical notes and other RAF information marked on the front and every page with the word ‘restricted’.

“Sensing that some might see this as a financial opportunity selling them to a foreign power, the officer pointed out that the USSR not only knew everything in them, but actually had more up-to-date and more accurate information.”

 

Rest in peace

GLASWEGIANS are so romantic, thought a reader from Maryhill catching the bus into town. Two woman were discussing the sudden death of a mutual friend’s husband. Discussing how bad it must be for their friend, one of them opined: “They were only married fur three year -- so she probably still loved him.”

 

Changed days

GLASGOW City Council has cheerfully announced that the Commonwealth Games Commission has inspected the work being carried out for the 2014 Games “and has found no red flags in Glasgow”.

An old commie ruefully observes: “Told you Glasgow had changed for the worse.”

 

New lease of life

A GLASGOW reader tells us his 10-year-old son had come from home school and explained they had been studying different religions. When his mum asked what he has learned he replied: “Well, when Buddhists die they come back to life again. They are regurgitated.”

Commenting & Moderation

We moderate all comments on HeraldScotland on either a pre-moderated or post-moderated basis. If you're a relatively new user then your comments will be reviewed before publication and if we know you well then your comments will be subject to moderation only if other users or the moderators believe you've broken the rules, which are available here.

Moderation is undertaken full-time 9am-6pm on weekdays, and on a part-time basis outwith those hours. Please be patient if your posts are not approved instantly.