OUR tales of proving your identity remind Alan Crossan of hiring a car in Dublin. Says Alan: "The guy in the car hire office told me that I needed another form of ID apart from my driving licence. I told him he could phone my Mammy in Glasgow which he duly did. 'Mrs Crossan, is this your son Alan here?' A 'Yes' was enough to see me drive off to Dingle Bay."

THE traditional opening day of the salmon season on the Tay will be marked as usual tomorrow morning with a march through Kenmore. Ally Gowans, who has taken part in many an opening day, tells us: "The old practice at Kenmore was to bless the season by smashing a bottle of whisky over the bow of the boat. Unfortunately that apparently had no effect on the fish but boatmen and ghillies are said to have burst into tears. Health and Safety concerns put a stop to that. Perhaps the most legendary use of whisky to catch salmon is to allow a large worm to swim around in a glass prior to baiting the hook. Salmon are unlikely to take the intoxicated worm but the emboldened creature is likely to strangle any fish that it encounters."

You can't beat a fisherman for a good tale.

FOSTER Evans notes that the Glasgow Tramway is to stage a play entitled Out of Darkness which is a mixture of story-telling and song in a Gaelic community coping with a power cut while the winds howl outside. "Is it art, or a documentary?" wonders Foster.

TALKING about the bad weather, well done Orkney Library for still being able to get their mobile library out. As a member of staff put it: "Our mobile library driver is going to be in Costa this afternoon.For those not in Orkney, it's a place - he's not skiving off for coffee."

THE Herald story on the Queen Margaret Union at Glasgow Yoonie celebrating its 125th birthday reminds Gilbert MacKay of the barber's shop in the rival men's union which gave the cheapest haircuts in Glasgow. Says Gilbert: "There was a cartoon that used to hang above the barber's mirror. It pictured a barber asking a student with hair down to his waist, 'Can you come back in the morn about eight, and we'll make a day o' it'."

STILL on your New Year diet? A south side reader confides: "Around this time of year I deliberately buy shirts for my work where the collar is too big. Folk see the gap at my neck and ask if I've lost weight. Somehow it cheers me up."

THE death of veteran Scots caddie Willie Aitchison, who helped Lee Trevino to two Open Championship wins, reminds John Aitchison in Newton Mearns of seeing Trevino play at the Open in Troon with Willie caddying for him. John still remembers Lee taking his driver from Willie and telling him: "With this gear Willie I can land it on the dance-floor like a butterfly with sore feet."

Says John: "Willie was known for his humour but for once he was outclassed by Trevino."

A READER tells us that Real Madrid's Christiano Ronaldo winning the world footballer of the year award was being discussed in a Motherwell pub where a supporter to the local Scottish Premiership side, which doesn't have its troubles to seek, commented: "Ballon d'Or? Our lot couldn't even hit a Barn d'Or."

A PIECE of whimsy from Gary Delaney who tells us: "Does it count as getting my car souped up if I've just spilled some oxtail on the passenger seat?"