VINYL record collectors in the east will know Backbeat Records in Edinburgh's East Crosscauseway near the uni, a claustrophobic canyon of haphazard discs, which celebrated its 33rd anniversary in September. Owner Dougie McShane is now telling fans that the proper celebrations should really be this month - when the shop will be 33 and a third years old.

WE mentioned Celtic Connections ending at the weekend. An insider explains: "On Saturday night every Celtic Connections show was stowed. Add in the next's day's Celtic/Rangers game and Strictly Come Dancing Live at the Hydro, you will see why there wasn't a cheap hotel room to be had in Glasgow - hence a certain Highland fiddler's disgruntled comments upon finding himself bed-less.

"It was only belatedly that the Celtic accommodation team realised that the £300-per-night prices being quoted online by standard budget hotels was in fact a deliberate smokescreen to deter the football fans - as soon as someone phoned up and explained that it was only some of those nice musicians needing housed, all was fine."

So now you know fitba fans. Carry a flute with you next time. Oh, you did?

SOMEONE from Glasgow was flogging a second-hand sofa on the Gumtree internet site which they described as "Shabby sheik vintage Chesterfield." As reader David Kelso mused: "Would Dubai this?"

THE Six Nations start this weekend with Scots rugby fans heading to Paris, the lucky beggars. The debate about whether football or rugby is the better game will no doubt continue, but we are reminded of the rugby fan last year in a West End pub watching the Six Nations who wore a shirt with the statement on the front: "Football is 90 mins of pretending you're hurt. Rugby is 80 mins of pretending you're not."

OH what larks. SNP Government Minister Humza Yousaf , whose father is from Pakistan, cheerily told his Twitter followers: "Just got asked for a selfie - only for chap to say, 'Loved him in Still Game. Funniest wan oot the lot'. I'll take it."

Within minutes, actor Sanjeev Kohli, who did in fact play shopkeeper Navid in Still Game, whom the chap was referring to, replied: "Just got asked for a selfie, and as the guy walked away he said to his pal, 'He's my favourite Asian in the Scottish Parliament'."

MOVING scenes the other day as the state funeral of Winston Churchill was remembered 50 years on. Anne Balfour recalled that Churchill's funeral was also the day that a friend's budgie died. Says Anne: "The family simply popped the budgie into a shoe box, which they covered in a tea towel and placed on top of their little Bush black-and-white telly. They then sat around, exchanging stories about their much-loved feathered friend as it looked as though it was receiving a state funeral."

Any more budgie stories? We're feeling nostalgic.

AS A postscript to our toilet tales, John Crawford tracks down an urban myth by claiming it was a pub in the Cumnock and Doon Valley area that had a condom machine in the ladies which took a pound coin but never dispensed any condoms. Says John: "The owner said it was a real money-earner as few ladies were prepared to go to the bar and demand their pound back."

We're not buying it John. We've been to Cumnock, and the ladies are no shrinking violets.

A READER phones to tell us: "Last month I cut my energy bill in half.

"Didn't work though. I still had to pay the full amount."