STILL no sign of a new Rangers manager yet. As James Doleman put it: "Chairman Dave King says, 'Five in running for manager's position.' Coincidentally, that's also the title of the least successful Enid Blyton book."
PICKING up her daughter from school, a reader was much taken with the point of view of a fellow mother who told her: "My ten-year-old blames me when things go wrong, and wants all the credit when things go right. She'll be a manager when she grows up."
FIRST Minister Nicola Sturgeon is being praised for her sparky performance on US chat show The Daily Show where she apologised for just being a politician, and not a comedian as she was billed on the show's website. Immediately Glasgow stand-up Jayne Godley contacted her on social media to tell her: "Dear Nicola, I think you are a fabulous comedian. Fancy doing an opening ten for me at the Edinburgh Fringe? You will smash it."
OUR tale of the Troon chap who claimed he ended up in Lesmahagow after his doctor told him to jog five miles every day reminds reader David Will: "We hired a number of sandwich-board worthies to support promotional activity for a chain of television rental shops. We dressed them in Santa suits and allocated one to each store to walk up and down outside. Midway through the first day the manager of the Govan Road branch reporting his Santa missing.
"After several unsuccessful trips up and down Govan Road we finally located him entering Renfrew. He, in his defence, said that he had turned left on leaving the branch and had continued walking.
"I learned an early lesson - as soon as you have two people there is potential for a communication problem."
A YOUNG Glasgow mother was explaining to her pals that her children had got her a new alarm clock on which you could download a tune as your wake-up sound every morning. She added: "So I've set a One Direction song as my alarm. I didn't want to end up hating something that I liked."
THE downloading service Netflix was being discussed in a Glasgow pub the other night with one chap declaring: "The wife and I watched six episodes of Breaking Bad back-to-back last night." His shrewd pal asked: "So which one of you got to face the screen?"
A READER swears to us he heard a teenager on his train into Glasgow tell his pal that he had asked a girl in his college class out, but she said she only dated chaps called Davey. "Why would she do that?" asked his dubious pal.
"Something to do with a tattoo she's got, and hasn't got rid of," replied the student.
GLASGOW film actor Billy Boyd said in The Herald that he wants to make a comedy movie set in Glasgow as the city is often portrayed as a dark place. We are trying to think of possible Glasgow films. The Pollokshawshank Redemption perhaps. Or The Madness of George Square. Any other suggestions?
A COLLEAGUE wanders over to tell us: "Convince people you've run a marathon by spending the afternoon wrapped in tin foil, then being irritating at dinner parties."
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