NEVER a good idea to crack jokes at airport check-in. So a Jordanhill reader tells us the check-in assistant was not impressed when she asked the holidaymaker queuing in front of our reader before she allocated a seat: "Window or aisle?" and he thought it good fun to reply: "Or you'll what?"

AN extra second was added on to yesterday to keep the clocks up to date. Readers felt the need to tell us what they were doing with their extra second with one explaining: "I'll call the mother-in-law for a chat." Dom Graham declared: "Remembering the illustrious musical careers of many X Factor winners." However the most tart was the chap who said: "Watching the highlights from England's 2014 World Cup campaign."

DAVID Will in Milngavie has noted the trend in Post Offices of "up-selling" where they try to sell you more things than you actually went in for. Says David: "I recently popped into the Post Office to buy a single first class stamp and was sold a book of six. Not content with that the counter clerk asked if I required top-ups for phone or utility cards. As I was not in the market for any of these she continued, 'What about life insurance?' I said I had not reached senior citizen status without taking care of things like that.' She looked at me once more and ventured, 'The Post Office has a new funeral plan'."

HOUSE names continued. Says Yvonne Sim in East Kilbride: "A doctor friend built his house near the River Bed in Bedfordshire, and called it Bedside Manor."

POOR Greece getting put through the wringer by EU politicians and may even have to leave the Euro. John Mulholland wondersw which newspaper will be first with the headline that "Greece was turning a crisis into a drachma."

READER John Marshall was visitng Stauning Distillery in Denmark which is one of only three whisky distilleries in the country. When the guide declared: "This is the Stauning still," John's reply of: "And will you still be Stauning after drinking it?" seemed to go over the guide's head.

HUMBERSIDE Police in England used social media this week to urge the public to cut down on the number of calls to the emergency services which are not in fact emergencies. Said the force: "We received a 999 call from a woman at a hairdresser's refusing to pay as her new do was a 'mess' and she was seeking legal advice. We had to advise her it was not a police matter."

IT will soon be the Edinburgh Festival. A reader was in the city the other day when a street entertainer doing some magic declared: "I love this trick. It's easier than my girlfriend." So we suspect said lady was not actually in the audience.

GOOD weather down in London just now although not much of it making its way north to Glasgow. A style point from Rhys James who tells us: "You have to say 'drinking vino al fresco' because 'drinking wine outside' makes you sound homeless."