AS we say goodbye to former Labour MPs, Brian Donohoe in Ayrshire has a farewell memory of his election campaign, and passes on to us: "While out leafleting on the day before the election my wife stopped an elderly lady and asked her if she would like a Labour leaflet.

The woman informed my wife that she was over seventy, had never voted in her life, and blamed it all on 'thae suffragettes who would have been better aff at hame scrubbing their flairs instead of interfering with the sport of kings!'

"Obviously not a fan of equality."

FRENCH car manufacturers Renault have brought out their latest model, the Renault Kadjar. David Stubley in Prestwick wonders if it will be easier to get a lift in one when they go on sale in Scotland.

A MODERN art gag from a Milngavie reader who phones to say: "My friends laughed at me when I forecast that Picasso's Women of Algiers would be sold for over £100m. Well they're laughing on the other side of their face now."

COUNCILLORS in Glasgow got a bit excited when a Google search of the name Glasgow yesterday revealed a newspaper story with the headline "Glasgow City Council moves forward with annexation plans". So finally were they making a move on taking over East Renfrewshire and East Dunbartonshire? Alas it was only the Glasgow Daily Times in Glasgow, Kentucky, where there are plans to extend the city limits, but our councillors can but dream.

Incidentally, for an old timer like me, I was intrigued to see that the editor of the Glasgow Daily Times is a Daniel Pike, which older readers might vaguely recall was a fictional private detective in Glasgow played by Roddy McMillan. No relation, presumably.

SOME weather in Glasgow just now. Ron Windward mused yesterday: "��Yay , the sun's out... naw it's away again...ah well, that was a cracking summer. Warmest on record I heard?"

A SPORTS fan phones to ask us: "Dod you see that all the English leagues were won by a team with the initial B? Bournemouth in the Championship, Bristol City in League One and Burton in League Two."

"What about the Premiership?" we ask.

"Boring Chelsea," he cackled before ringing off.

OH dear. How long will this go on? Comedian Jimmy Carr told his followers on social media: "On tour in Zagreb and I came across The Museum of Broken Relationships. Is there a stranger tourist attraction?"

A fan in Glasgow immediately replied to Jimmy: "Is Jim Murphy and the Scottish Labour Party in it?"

A COLLEAGUE wanders over to interrupt us with: "Got booked by an irritating policeman for stopping illegally on the motorway. I didn't get angry with him, but was on the verge."