The nerve of him

Diary Editor

Monday 12 December 2011

IT'S a fraught time these days with the Christmas shopping.

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Ken Smith

A reader in the Silverburn shopping centre on the south side heard a stressed father tell his son: "Stop asking me questions! You're getting on ma nerves!"

The lad replied: "What's nerves?"

There's a novelty..

AND reader Gillian Beattie asked her nine-year-old daughter while in the supermarket to go and get 12 crackers for Christmas Day. The little one returned tottering down the aisle with 10 packets of Jacob's Cream Crackers in her arms and trapped by her chin so they wouldn't fall.Says Gillian: "She dropped them into the trolley and said, 'I'll go and get the other two packets'. When I told her, 'Crackers. not cream crackers' she went off in a huff and refused to put them back on to the shelf."Kids these days don't know the meaning of crackers." Giving noticeA READER with an interest in politics phones to tell us: "I heard on the radio David Cameron saying that he was certain that he had done the right thing for the country. I got so excited, as I thought he'd resigned."Unusual complaintsSTORIES you may have missed. Henley Business School compiled a list of unusual customer complaints which included a customer who complained that a delivery driver, finding no-one at home, simply pushed a curtain pole through the letterbox. The homeowner returned to find their dog pinned against the opposite wall.And a chap who bought a dishwasher returned to the store and announced it was obviously faulty, stating: "When set to wash, water sprays, but the plates don't spin."Storm falloutIN the aftermath of last week's gales, it was natural that some folk would take the mickey. An English chap visiting Scotland told us: "I think there's been panic buying in Scotland because of the extreme weather. I was in five supermarkets in Lanarkshire and couldn't find any fresh fruit or vegetables in any of them."Flight of fancyLAST WEEK'S weather disruption included the cancellation of a performance of Peter Pan at Glasgow's Pavilion Theatre. Muses reader Andrew Adamson in Airdrie: "Is it not ironic that a performance in which characters fly across the stage should be cancelled over concerns about flying debris?"Cold facts?COLIN Fox, leader of the Scottish Socialist Party, tells us it's 25 years since Margaret Thatcher privatised British Gas.He was chatting about this with some pensioners in an Edinburgh post office who were recalling that the advertising slogan to encourage folk to buy shares always had the line: "If you see Sid, tell him."One of the pensioners chipped in: "Nobody sees Sid any more. He doesn't get out of bed as he can't afford to turn on his fire."

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The nerve of him

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