WE asked for examples of the romantic Scotsman.
Well this is not about a Scotsman but a chip shop in Coatbridge. Surely this would only happen in Scotland.
As Toni Morrison tells us: "While my colleagues were being surprised on Tuesday with Valentine's Day flowers and cards from secret admirers, I was surprised to receive the following text message from my local chippie, the Atlantic, 'Celebrate St Valentine's Day with us by getting a free bag of chocolates with every fish supper!'
"If it had been a pizza or sausage supper I might have taken them up on the offer."
DEALING with hecklers continued. Jimmy frae Paisley tells us: "The late folk singer and raconteur Danny Kyle once admonished a heckler by suggesting he should 'Sit against the wa' – that's plastered tay'."
AS we mentioned, it's desperate times out there in the retail sector. A reader tells us he was in a garage looking at new cars and out of curiosity had wandered over to a top-of-the-range car, way out of his budget.
When the salesman came over and tried to engage him in conversation our reader jokingly told him he would have to sell his flat to buy the car.
"Could you not move in with your parents?" the salesman replied.
What a card
A GLASGOW reader tells us there was another misogynist in the pub the other night. "Got my Valentine's card delivered from Moonpig," he told his fellow topers.
"She hates me when I call her that."
A MILNGAVIE reader tells us she got a quote from a removal company to take her baby grand piano to her daughter's house, but when the men arrived they said it was bigger than they expected.
"Well it was described as a baby grand when I bought it," she told them.
"It looks as though it's grown into a teenager," said the removal man.
Sign on the dotted line
WHAT was that other thing in the news? Oh yes, Rangers. John Dyer tells us that Rangers most recent signing, Daniel Cousin, was spotted in WH Smith. "He was buying ," says John, "a large pot of Tipp-Ex."
AND Rangers owner Craig Whyte has issued another statement on his plans. It's shorter than his previous outpourings. "Sod this, I want my pound back!" is apparently his latest view.
TODAY'S cerebral graffiti was on a lift wall at Edinburgh University when Veronica Liddell was a student. She tells us: "It read 'God is dead (Nietzsche)'.
"Underneath some wag added 'Nietzsche is dead' (God)'."
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