OUR tales of romantic Glaswegians remind a reader of hearing a young chap in a city pub tell his pals:

"Yes, I love her - I'd take a bullet for her.

"Well in the leg, anyway."

Suffering for his art

THE annual exhibition of the Royal Glasgow Institute of the Fine Arts will be one of the biggest ever this year when it opens next month in the McLellan Galleries. On the last day for submissions this week an artist who had driven more than 100 miles to submit his work, carried it in the back door of the McLellan, put it down against a wall, then accidentally broke the frame with his foot.

With an anguished look on his face he turned round, hefted it back to his car, and said he would be back later, after another 200-mile round trip.

Night to remember

JAMES Martin tells us about a woman who admits she can't remember large chunks of her evening after drinking too much wine with friends. She calls it "Sauvignon Blank".

Fitting memorial

HOW are the Jarrow Marchers remembered for their harrowing 300-mile march to Westminster to protest before the war about unemployment and extreme poverty? Reader Frank Murphy spots an advertisement by Galashiels clothing and footwear firm Aero for their "new range of Jarrow Marcher Boots, handcrafted in Northampton from Horween Leather".

At a mere £175 they might be out of the financial range of many a Jarrow Marcher if they were alive today.

Says Frank: "I'm looking forward to their Highland Clearances range of kilts, shawls and bonnets."

Home truths

WISE words heard by a reader at Partick Station in Glasgow where a schoolboy was telling a pal he couldn't find a game after searching his bedroom. He added he asked his mum where it was and she couldn't find it either.

"Well if your mum can't find it," said his pal, "then it's gone for ever."

Acid twit

SCHOOL exam errors continued. A retired modern studies teacher in the 1970s was expecting the answer "List D schools" in a question about what powers the Children's Panel had in dealing with young people in trouble. He was not expecting the answer from one pupil who wrote: "They can send them to LSD schools."

Little boys' room

A READER who attended Scottish Opera's wonderful production of Don Giovanni at Glasgow's Theatre Royal tells us: "During the interval I visited the Gents which on that particular floor are very small and quite cramped. I took my place in the short queue and waited patiently. When the chap in front's turn came, he suddenly announced in a loud theatrical voice, 'I'm sure it's shrunk since I was here last'.

"'I take it you mean the room?' I asked. He quickly replied 'Yes' with a bit of a red face."

So there ...

A COLLEAGUE wanders over to tell us: "Saw a sign that said 'Don't Even Think Of Parking Here'. So I parked there without thinking about it."