A NUMBER of organisations are tentatively attempting to communicate using the social website Twitter.
Falkirk police tried it this week by asking: "A wall in Kinneil Drive, Bo'ness, was damaged at weekend. Black spray paint used to graffiti it. Words "MOLLY" and "FIONA". Who did this?" Inevitably someone replied: "Just a hunch. But you should maybe concentrate on looking for two women called Molly and Fiona."
Pint of order
TALKING of Twitter, former Celtic star Frank McAvennie tried to use the social website last week to invite Clydebank stand-up Kevin Bridges out for a pint in Glasgow's West End after meeting at a function. The only snag was that Frank didn't send it as a private message and all the followers of Frank and Kevin on Twitter saw it, with a few of them deciding to go along to the pub to see them.
"Busy in here tonight," thought Frank when he arrived, until someone explained to him what he had done.
Sauce and a gander
YOUNG diver and pin-up Tom Daley will be in Glasgow on Sunday as part of his role as an ambassador for the Commonwealth Games. We remember when he was getting all the attention at the Olympic Games, and a chap at an Ayrshire golf club declared: "It's disgusting - all those women watching the diving just to see Tom Daley.
"Anyway, did anyone see the women's beach volleyball?"
A PET shop worker in Glasgow tells us a chap came in and said that his daughter's hamster had died after only two years. When asked if he wanted a replacement, he asked: "It was too heartbreaking. Do you have any animals that live for ever?"
The stunned worker had to say no, and at that the customer said he would try elsewhere.
WE mentioned Lesley Riddoch's book Blossom, which deals with how Scotland should look in the future. In particular we liked her spirited defence of tenement living and her description of her first tenement party in Glasgow. Wrote Lesley: "I realised the entire tenement would have to be invited or I'd live with the threat of a phone call to the police all night.
"The gatekeepers of the close - an elderly couple in the ground floor flat -requested gin and Irn Bru, and surveyed the young dancing journalists with the open curiosity of adults at a zoo."
Any more tenement tales?
Praying on his mind
IT'S the Jewish New Year, Rosh Hashana today. It reminds us of the retired chap who was asked if he was going to the synagogue to pray for another year of good health. "Not this year," he replied. "I'm 88, most of my friends have passed away, and I'm not keen to remind God that I'm still here just in case he'd forgotten."
WOMEN being sharp-tongued? Surely not. It's just that a reader heard a couple of women having coffee discuss a mutual friend who was getting divorced. One of them argued: "She's bragging about how much she's getting in the divorce settlement. Doesn't she realise it just shows how much he's willing to pay not to live with her any more?"
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