A BBC Scotland reporter tells us she managed to read the name of the late North Korea leader Kim Jong Il this week without mispronouncing it.
So what, you might think, but she tells us of a fellow broadcaster who read the name out as Kim Jong the Second.
Reader Gerry Burke reports the sighting in a Helensburgh charity shop of a woman whose grasp of the purpose of such outlets is somewhat lacking.
Says Gerry: "She bargained the assistant down from £10 to £5 for a child's rocking-horse. Then she opened the shop door, gave a thumbs-up to hubby in the driving seat of the family BMW and shouted over, 'They'll take a fiver.' The thumbs-up was returned with a satisfied grin."
WHO says they don't have a sense of humour in Edinburgh? Well, us, usually. But full marks to the newly refurbished Scottish National Portrait Gallery which is advertising a "Fur coat an' nae knickers" tour of some of the racier folk on display. As the tour says about Mary, Queen of Scots on the gallery's website: "Dae we see here the greetin' faitherless bairn – her faither fa's deid when she wis six days auld – or the shameless hure o' Babylon?
"Her first man wis a sickly Frenchie, her second a syphyllitic souse – blown tae bits – an her third wis a brutal, foul-moothed two-timer. Whit a woman! An whit's mair, thir's talk o' her dancin' the reel o' Bogie wae her Italian secretary."
Syphyllitic souse is surely our alliteration of the week.
The view from afar
OUR London correspondent hears a local announce: "In Scotland, Christmas is celebrated by overeating and the mass consumption of alcohol. And is known simply as the weekend."
ITALIAN striker Paulo di Canio was a great favourite with Celtic fans even though he was only at Parkhead for one season. So we pass on an interview with di Canio in which he declaims about much-capped Roma striker Francesco Totti: "He has said he wouldn't sit at the same dinner table with me. I said that was no great loss because if you tell Totti there are tensions in the Middle East, he'll assume a fight has broken out on the right side of midfield."
What a wag
A READER emails us: "Seven out of 10 dogs in Britain get Christmas gifts from their owners. Despite this, few dogs have a firm grasp of the significance of the nativity."
WE asked for your Scottish haikus, and Mark Boyle in Johnstone writes:
Dear old Johnstone is
Scotland's prettiest town
when it is foggy.
Not sure about the scanning – it's meant to be lines of five, seven and five syllables, but we like it. Any more?
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