CHILDREN never change.
A Clydebank reader was in his local shopping centre when he spotted a young boy push his even younger brother down a short flight of steps. When the little one started crying, and their mother turned round, the older one said with mock concern: "What happened?"
Answering a calling
A READER notes that five years ago this week, the iPhone was launched and Gordon Brown became Prime Minister. "You can't help thinking," says our reader, "that one of them proved slightly more successful than the other."
Boxing not so clever
A STUDENT presumably celebrating the end of the year was sitting swaying on the subway at Hillhead station when he leaned across to a reader and asked him very seriously: "If you were inside a box, how would you think outside it?"
Sound as a Scots pound
AN Edinburgh reader venturing out on the capital's High Street heard an American coming out of a tartan shop asking her spouse, who was holding a banknote he was studying intently, "What's that?"
"It's a Scottish ten pound note," he replied.
"Oh, I think it's adorable that they have their own money," she gushed.
A shot in the dark
THE news that The Open is to return to Royal Troon in 2016 reminds a reader of a previous Open there when he was sitting in one of the stands next to two elderly locals who were intently watching every shot that reached the green, but without showing any emotion even though folk were clapping enthusiastically, even cheering at times, around them.
Eventually one golfer managed to hit an incredible shot from behind a bush in the rough, finishing less than a foot from the pin. At that one of the old fellows turned to his mate and asked: "Wid ye say that wis a shot, Donald?"
His pal pondered for a moment before replying: "Aye" and at that the two worthies tapped their walking sticks on the grandstand and said: "Shot!"
Bomber takes aim
NEWS that former no-nonsense Ibrox defender John Brown is launching a takeover bid for Rangers was being discussed yesterday by a couple of fans. "Will the Bomber do what he usually does? Charge into new owner Charles Green and scythe him down at the knees?" asked one.
Sentiment over sediment
TALKING of Rangers, a bottle of wine raffled at a gala dinner for the Michelle Henderson Cervical Cancer Trust, set up by Rangers legend Willie Henderson's daughter, was won by a fervent Rangers fan who announced he was going to keep it until Rangers repeated their 1972 feat of winning a European trophy. A fellow diner told him that such a claim would test the staying power of even the finest wine, far less a run-of-the-mill Merlot.
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