Says Joe: “The teacher used to shout at him, ‘You’ll never get a job looking out the window all day!’
“Well, she got that completely wrong – he was a bus driver for 30 years.”
Below par
“I went online last week,” says reader Alasdair Ireland, “and bought my golf-mad son a Tiger Woods book on improving your driving.
“It’s going back to Amazon now.”
Bitter pill?
A READER who handed in her notice from her job when she became pregnant had to go through one of these exit interviews – the latest piece of pointless form-filling dreamed up by corporate human resource departments.
When she got to the question “Could any action have been taken to prevent you from leaving?” she merely wrote down: “Birth control.”
Typical!
HOLLYWOOD A-lister Gerard Butler, from Paisley, has become an ambassador for Glasgow Film Office, the organisation that helps production companies make movies in the city. The city’s regeneration boss, Steve Inch, said at the announcement of Butler’s new role, that among the movies which the film office helped was Neil Marshall’s Doomsday, which showed an apocalyptic vision of the future, and was shot in Glasgow’s east end.
Doomsday? Glasgow’s east end? Naturally we can’t imagine why they chose there.
Flying along
OUR story of how motorists deal with traffic cops reminds John Daly in Houston of a Norwegian visitor to the then British Steel Clydebridge works at Cambuslang, who admitted to hammering down the M73 in a hired car.
He was stopped by traffic officers who, when he was pulled over and wound his window down, asked him: “Having difficulty taking off, sir?”
Fit for purpose
LAST week the Milngavie and Bearsden Herald reported that a playground fight between two girls at Boclair Academy, showing one of them beaten to the ground, had been recorded and put on YouTube. A worried parent said the school wasn’t tough enough on fighting.
This week the newspaper reported that Boclair Academy had been given a £1000 grant for gloves, pads and punch-bags for the physical fitness regime of “boxercise”.
But perhaps that’s not what the parent had in mind.
Sent packing
JUNIOR soccer side Irvine Meadow being drawn against Hibs in the Scottish Cup appeals to all romantic followers of football. An Ayrshire reader tells us that Gordon Brown, the late, lamented Scottish rugby internationalist known everywhere as Broon frae Troon, once appeared as a teenage goalkeeper for Troon Juniors against Irvine Meadow.
Things did not go well for Gordon as Meadow
chalked up seven goals, many scored by Irvine’s deadly wee legendary winger “Hooky” Walker. Gordon could stand it no longer, and with only a minute to play he flattened wee Hooky – and was sent off.
At that, he jacked in football, turned to rugby instead and the rest, as they say, is history.
