OUR tale of Helen Mirren being offered "red or white" when she asked for wine in Glasgow 30 years ago, reminds Jean Edmiston in Prestwick of a friend from England visiting round about the same time and asking in a grocer's:
"What type of cheese do you have?" The answer "both" confused her somewhat, not realising she could have a white-coloured cheddar or a red cheddar.
Skye's the limit
AND John Craig in Falkirk recalls: "The late Sir Bob Grieve, first chairman of the Highlands and Islands Board, told me that he was at a dinner on Skye in the 1960s when the waitress coming round with the wine asked him if he would like some wine or would he 'prefer something to drink'."
Talk is cheap
THE Winter Olympics have been gripping - the commentators less so. Tom Bogle in Ayr was taken with the commentator who came up with "she's on fire on this ice". Or the chap who was less than chivalrous to the female hill jumpers: "There's three left - we're down to the real heavyweights."
Phil Gault noticed in the Giant Slalom, the skier from the Czech Republic, Ondrej Bank. He mused: "So it would be fun to introduce him as, 'Hi, this is my pal, Bank the Czech'."
Any other favourite sayings?
Hair today...
"HAVE you been watching any curling?" asked a chap of his pal on a train into Glasgow this week.
"I have," remarked his mate, who then went for the line: "But the hairdresser came out and told me to move away from the window as it was disturbing her customers."
Name game
MUCH debate about whistleblower Edward Snowden being elected Rector of Glasgow University. Journalist Iain Martin was recalling when he edited the Glasgow University Guardian, and singer Pat Kane was elected Rector. Kane offered to write a column for the Guardian, but Martin found the writing terribly pretentious.
So in the next column, Kane's reference to American futurist Alvin Toffler was changed to Alvin Stardust. It was the last column Kane offered them.
Only one way to go
OUR story about losing a car in a car park reminds Marilyn Copland in Scotstounhill of husband Bill driving in Germany and asking his pal Ian to take a careful note of the street they were parked in. Returning hours later, Bill realised that Ian was asking people for directions to "Eingangstrasse" which, of course, means one-way street, and that it might well take them a while to find the car.
What's in a name?
POSTSCRIPT to our spelling howlers, as Tom Hamilton tells us: "I remember from my distant days in academe at Strathclyde Uni, Professor Tom Devine, then just a plain old Dr, said that one undergraduate, when writing an essay on the French Revolution, referred to the infamous sovereign lady as 'Mary-Anne Twanette'."
Why are you making commenting on The Herald only available to subscribers?
It should have been a safe space for informed debate, somewhere for readers to discuss issues around the biggest stories of the day, but all too often the below the line comments on most websites have become bogged down by off-topic discussions and abuse.
heraldscotland.com is tackling this problem by allowing only subscribers to comment.
We are doing this to improve the experience for our loyal readers and we believe it will reduce the ability of trolls and troublemakers, who occasionally find their way onto our site, to abuse our journalists and readers. We also hope it will help the comments section fulfil its promise as a part of Scotland's conversation with itself.
We are lucky at The Herald. We are read by an informed, educated readership who can add their knowledge and insights to our stories.
That is invaluable.
We are making the subscriber-only change to support our valued readers, who tell us they don't want the site cluttered up with irrelevant comments, untruths and abuse.
In the past, the journalist’s job was to collect and distribute information to the audience. Technology means that readers can shape a discussion. We look forward to hearing from you on heraldscotland.com
Comments & Moderation
Readers’ comments: You are personally liable for the content of any comments you upload to this website, so please act responsibly. We do not pre-moderate or monitor readers’ comments appearing on our websites, but we do post-moderate in response to complaints we receive or otherwise when a potential problem comes to our attention. You can make a complaint by using the ‘report this post’ link . We may then apply our discretion under the user terms to amend or delete comments.
Post moderation is undertaken full-time 9am-6pm on weekdays, and on a part-time basis outwith those hours.
Read the rules hereComments are closed on this article