You have heard it many times in this very church, but it bears much repetition. If you have pan drops to shed, prepare to shed them now.

Allow me to remind you, brothers and sisters, of the details.

The younger son asks his father to give him the share of the money that would fall to him once his father had passed on to glory.

The father graciously agreed and the boy went off to the far country. The lad soon got into bad company. Let us hear what Holy Scripture says about him: It wasnae lang before he wasted his hale fortune oan the bevvy, an the parties, and livin’ it up.

As you ken, I mean know, the young man reaches rock bottom.

We turn to the magnificent words of Sacred Scripture once more: Finally he gets wise an says tae hissel. ‘ Ach, ah’m aff ma heid so ah am – at hame even ma faither’s servants are weel looked efter, an here’s me stervin. Ah’ll jist need tae bottle ma pride an go hame.

Indeed he wull. I mean will.

You all know what happens next. His father sees his son on the horizon and runs out to meet him and throws his arms around him.

As Holy Writ puts it: The boy wis greetin. ‘Ah’m sorry faither – honest, so ah am! Ah’m jist a loser an no fit tae be cawed yer son.’

Well, the fatted calf was killed and the dancing started.

But not everyone was pleased. As the Bible says: The big brither wis beelin – an widny go inty the hoose. So the faither comes oot tae reason wi him.

He answers his faither, ‘Och, haud oan an lissen tae me. Ah’ve slaved for ye aw thae years an ye didny even wance gie a party for me. An noo that wee nyaff comes back! Been oan the randan, so he has! Spent aw yer money oan booze an hooers! An ye kill yer best coo for him?!’

My friends, no wonder the elder brother was beelin’. Let’s admit it, you would be beelin’ too! In these unfair circumstances we would all, all of us, be beelin’!

But sometimes Jehovah is beeling with us.

The scriptures tell us the father says: Ah thought ma son wis deid – an he’s come back tae life. He wis lost, an noo he’s come hame.’

And so, my wayward friends, may the prize coo be killed for you. Here endeth the sermon.

What’s all this about? A DVD version of The Glasgow Gospel will be launched on Wednesday evening in High Carntyne Church, Glasgow, where the writer, Jamie Stuart, is an elder.

Mr Stuart’s Glaswegian version of some of the gospel stories has been a best-seller for some time; the DVD, by Collie Productions, features more than 30 gospel stories told by a number of Scottish TV actors and presenters, all of whom gave their services free.

Jamie Stuart is an amazing character. He will be 90 years old next year, but he has the energy of a 40-year-old.

In his time he has been a gentlemens’ outfitter, a professional actor, a vacuum cleaner salesman, and a childcare officer. And now his versions of New and Old Testament tales have proved to be very popular.

The Bible tells us that the common people heard Jesus gladly.

The punters argued with him in their own tongue, Aramaic. See you, Jesus?

Most Scots still grow up bilingual, in the sense of having one language for the playground and another for the classroom. I certainly did.

You were taught to speak “proper” English at school, and the Scots (or Gaelic) vernacular was looked down upon.

Much as I love the revered King James Version of the Bible - “If it’s good enough for Saint Paul, it’s good enough for me,” said one old lady who objected to the reading of a modern translation – the Glasgow Gospel has its own energy and vitality.

Credit to Jamie Stuart for helping us to speak in tongues.