The Scottish Government will impose a minimum price on alcohol of 50p per unit.
Health Minister Nicola Sturgeon says too many Scots are drinking themselves to death. Half our prisoners were drunk when they did the crime.
The policy could save 300 lives a year and reduce hospital admissions by 6500. There is a groundswell of support across the medical profession, police forces, alcohol charities and from parts of the drinks and licensed trade.
For what it's worth, I agree. As it says in the Bible (Proverbs 20:1): "Wine is a mocker, strong drink is raging; and whosoever is deceived thereby is not wise." That is just table wine they are talking about, not high-strength Buckie with added caffeine.
I would urge readers not even to spend that 50p on alcohol. Buy some fruit and make it into a smoothie. Strawberries with mango and pineapple juice is nice. Add some ginger (the root, not the stuff from Barr's).
I say all this from a high moral position, atop a wagon. I have been off the drink, entirely on behalf of my liver. I recommend abstinence. Being aff it makes you feel so much better.
There is a possibility my opinion on minimum pricing might change. Particularly if you see me hanging on to a lamppost on Great Western Road informing the world that I belong to Glasgow and there is nothing the matter with Glasgow even though it is going round and round.
Or if you see me sitting in a sunny plaza in Barcelona drinking a fruity Ribera del Duero at 20p a unit. I might then say that while a minimum price of 50p a unit has merit, it is a quintessential attack on human rights. On a biblical note, did Jesus not turn the water into wine at the marriage feast in Cana?
The 50p minimum can be seen as a tax on the poor. Maybe there should be rationing, like the free orange juice we weans got in the 1950s. Moderate drinkers should get a few units a week on the Government's tab.
As a drug, the swally would have to be dispensed at alcohol clinics. It could be civilised. Wee men in bunnets playing dominoes along with their shots of whisky. Some canapés for the ladies sharing a bottle of sauvignon blanc.
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