TOMMY Whitelaw's mum passed away at the weekend, surrounded by her family.
She was 73. You won't have heard of her, but you may have heard of Tommy.
Tommy used to travel the world, selling official merchandise on behalf of rock stars. But when, a few years ago, his "wee mum" back in Glasgow was diagnosed with vascular dementia, Tommy became her full-time, live-in carer. He did everything, and I do mean everything, for her: day in, day out, around the clock. He was devoted to her.
More than that, however, he made it his mission to raise awareness of the plight faced by many Scottish carers. He walked across the country, gathering their stories, which were often heartbreaking.
He made a small film to raise awareness of carers and Alzheimers. He addressed dozens of groups – carers, medical professionals, councillors, MSPs and social workers. He detailed his thoughts on his blog, which you can find at http://tommy-on-tour-2011.blogspot.co.uk. It is worth a read.
I mention all of this because I've known Tommy for several years, and admired the things he did for Joan, and for carers everywhere.
In his latest blog posting he acknowledges that his heart is broken. "The last five years seem like a blur. I knew my mum was very ill lately but it all seemed to happen so quickly ... We faced many, many tough times over the last years. I hope when I can think more clearly and have said my last goodbyes to mum I can concentrate enough and find the strength to celebrate in words the greatness of my mum.
"For five years I was mum's full-time carer as well as her son but as I sit here just now it's painfully obvious how much I needed my mum and in many ways she was my carer too. We were a team, we are so grateful for the kindness from people we know in person and from people we have never met and you have all helped fill some of the emptiness I feel inside. I thank you all and I am so proud and privileged to be Joan Whitelaw's son."
I met Joan a couple of times, and watched the tenderness with which her son treated her. Tommy found himself in a prolonged and profoundly upsetting position, but he responded with love and care. Once seen, it was difficult to forget.
Why are you making commenting on The Herald only available to subscribers?
It should have been a safe space for informed debate, somewhere for readers to discuss issues around the biggest stories of the day, but all too often the below the line comments on most websites have become bogged down by off-topic discussions and abuse.
heraldscotland.com is tackling this problem by allowing only subscribers to comment.
We are doing this to improve the experience for our loyal readers and we believe it will reduce the ability of trolls and troublemakers, who occasionally find their way onto our site, to abuse our journalists and readers. We also hope it will help the comments section fulfil its promise as a part of Scotland's conversation with itself.
We are lucky at The Herald. We are read by an informed, educated readership who can add their knowledge and insights to our stories.
That is invaluable.
We are making the subscriber-only change to support our valued readers, who tell us they don't want the site cluttered up with irrelevant comments, untruths and abuse.
In the past, the journalist’s job was to collect and distribute information to the audience. Technology means that readers can shape a discussion. We look forward to hearing from you on heraldscotland.com
Comments & Moderation
Readers’ comments: You are personally liable for the content of any comments you upload to this website, so please act responsibly. We do not pre-moderate or monitor readers’ comments appearing on our websites, but we do post-moderate in response to complaints we receive or otherwise when a potential problem comes to our attention. You can make a complaint by using the ‘report this post’ link . We may then apply our discretion under the user terms to amend or delete comments.
Post moderation is undertaken full-time 9am-6pm on weekdays, and on a part-time basis outwith those hours.
Read the rules hereComments are closed on this article