THE Army has finally recognised women's right to Choos.
Today, readers, we are going to do something a bit different.
A real-life superhero called Wheel Clamp Man is making the world safe for careless parkers.
You would think folk had more to do with their time than harass golf clubs that don't allow women to become members.
There is news that the Westminster parliament may close down for five years.
IT'S an exaggeration to say, as one newspaper did, that Edinburgh Zoo is pimping its pandas.
Shock news from the world of academic research that young children can tell when adults fake being upset.
The Mars Bar has been modified.
THERE is cheery news that more Scots weans are getting to go to the yoonie.
Bill Gates, the world's richest person, is investing a large chunk of his wealth into a project called Reinvent the Toilet.
PLEASE form an orderly queue all of youse who want to join the Royal Society for the Protection of Posh People.
It isn't just the Queen who has diamond jubilees.
It's rare that a news story makes me cry in public; rarer still that one brings forth my tears on a train.
I'm getting awfy worried about Mars.
I am doing my bit to save Scottish football from Armageddon, oblivion, the knacker's yard and other predicted destinations.
Rod Stewart is going all reflective with his autobiography out later this year.
THE jig is up for David Cameron.
The clamour for Olympic gold has reached fever pitch across the nation.
Bin tryin, bruv, to keep up with modern speak and found these definitions.
Graduates have been advised to downgrade the curriculum vitae in the pursuit of employment.
The SNP Government has been taking those brave pills again.
It is no bad thing when a rosbif wins the Tour de France.
It is comforting to know that scientists are working away at universities all over the world inventing stuff to make life better for mankind and women as well.
G4S, the company responsible for the London Olympics security shambles, is after the contract for the Glasgow Commonwealth Games.
THE Co-operative Bank is to become a big player on the high street by buying 632 branches from Lloyds TSB.
When it comes to apologies and excuses, young people can learn much from leading figures in public life.
There has been a welcome backlash against the move by milk cartels to skim even more profit by cutting the price paid to farmers.
It is a question I am often asked and can seldom answer.
Apologies for writing about the parlous state of Scottish football.
BBC Four TV took us on a different voyage with Guts: The Strange And Mysterious World Of The Human Stomach.