SCOTTISH artist Jack Vettriano had a clear-out of his Kirkcaldy flat and studio and auctioned off the contents.
Right down to a paint-splattered kettle with an asking price of £20.
Vettriano is not short of a bob or three with paintings selling for up to £750,000 and sales of prints in the millions. A donation to a charity shop or a visit to the skip might have seemed suitable options. But the furniture and other artefacts featured in the Fife master's oeuvres and are therefore part of the Vettriano phenomenon.
His works appear to my untutored eye like stills from Poirot or Jeeves And Wooster on the telly. The ultimate test of art is the chequebook, so gaun yersel, Jack.
The National Galleries of Scotland should have lashed out the £20 for the paint-spattered kettle as the beginning of a collection of artist artefacts.
Other purchases could include some of the Swan Vestas left over when sculptor David Mach made a head from matchsticks and set fire to it. Let's have an archive of Peter Howson press releases.
With foresight, Charles Rennie Mackintosh's last packet of Senior Service cigarettes might have been saved for the nation. Along with the pair of skates worn by the minister in the painting by Sir Henry Raeburn.
On the world stage, many valuable bits of art heritage have been lost including: the offal bits of Damien Hirst's stuffed sheep; the moustache Salvador Dalí wore; Rene Magritte's pipe that isn't a pipe; Whistler's mother's bloomers; Picasso's tin of blue emulsion.Also: a mouldy slice of Brie from Manet's Dejeuner Sur l'Herbe; the pair of specs Van Gogh couldn't wear after he cut off his ear; the half-bottle of absinthe Toulouse Lautrec kept under his top hat; El Greco's unfinished kebab.
How much are we bid for the DaVinci code?
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