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cheering up for Scotland

You may be pre-occupied by all this referendum stuff but there is some important epidemiological research I must first bring to your attention.

After nine years of studying a sample of 10,000 people, academics have concluded that those who enjoy themselves live longer.

The team at University College London have proved that it really is being so cheery that keeps you going. Statistics show that regardless of age, gender, or wealth, folk who failed to maintain a cheerful disposition were three times more likely to die than those who let a smile be their umbrella.

It should be pointed out that the 10,000 in the sample were English. There may be different happiness parameters and outcomes up here in Scotland.

You will be looking for reasons to be cheerful. Try this. Economists say it is our civic duty to pull the country out of recession by spending loads of money at Christmas. Just go out and enjoy yourselves with a massive shopping spree in the knowledge you are kick-starting the economy. After the festive season, let that smile be your umbrella from the Caribbean sun.

You may have to effect this economic recovery by hefty use of credit cards. Don't worry, you won't have to pay the money back. Just lose the debt through one of those Independent Voluntary Arrangements that are all the rage. You will be behaving just like a banker.

The same economists have come up with another great idea. Instead of the Government giving quantitative-easing cash to the banks, there should be something called a "helicopter drop". This is where everyone in the country gets a £1000 Christmas shopping bonus from the Bank of England. My advice is to spend the helicopter money and max out the plastic as well just to be sure there is an economic revival.

I will not join youse in this spending spree as it would not make me cheerful. I will pursue contentment and longevity through keeping busy on the referendum front. My plan is to do 100 positive things before polling day. That's just one a week.

My first task is to write to Michael (Lord) Forsyth and urge him to keep up his level of input into the debate. Further whining and whingeing contributions from Mrs Thatcher's former governor-general in Scotland can only help the Yes campaign.

Contextual targeting label: 
Finance

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