There will not be much of a tartan tinge to events in the London Olympics stadium.

In the track and field there are gey few Scots and they're a' lassies.

Apparently there never are all that many Scottish athletes involved in Team GB, but this year is something a nadir. The obvious solution is to vote for independence in time for the 2016 games.

If we are not doing well under the UK regime, we may as well have our own Olympics team. We might not win anything but we get to be in the big parade at the opening ceremony and wave the saltire.

There would be job creation at BBC Scotland and STV as oor ain broadcasters whip up oor ain hysteria if someone in the dark blue vest (or Lycra, whatever) nearly wins a bronze.

Take comfort in that Corinthian attitude where it is not about winning but taking part. Remember, too, there are sports where our lads and lasses are in with a shout for a medal and we can keep all the glory to ourselves.

Andy Murray at the tennis, Chris Hoy on his bike, and the curling team in the winter games could bring home gold. Let's not forget Launceston Elliot, the Scottish weightlifter who was Britain's first-ever Olympic champion at Athens in 1896 in the one-handed event.

There's lots of scope, maybe something like a medal for shooting small bores.

One benefit of Scotland being an Olympic nation would be our football team playing in an international tournament. Just think, it could have been Scotland versus Spain at Hampden this summer. I am not a sporting person. But I do swim a few lengths in the Arlington Baths in Glasgow where water polo was developed into an Olympic sport. Not that I would get into the team, unless they're looking for someone who swims like an upturned frog in a deceptively slow fashion.

At school, I was a rebel on the athletics track. I didn't see the point of running if it wasn't after a football. I was happy to be last in races and loved knocking over hurdles to infuriate the gym teacher. The only prize I got was six of the belt for dumb insolence.

But when it comes to supporting Scotland at the Olympics, I will go that extra mile. I will be a veritable Eric Liddell in the couch potato event.